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Sunday, October 14, 2007

Relevance of Love, Respect and Patience in modern familial situations- A Men’s day special.

There have been a lot of studies commissioned to ascertain the causes of family breakdowns, divorces, etc., but without going into those results we can summarise that Love, Respect and Patience are the three prime factors which make a family tick. When at least these three prevail in a relationship, issues and conflicts resolve at the earliest and the bond finds new thresholds and heights of synergy. If these factors are eclipsed or are absent, even silly ego clashes and difference of opinions lead to irreparable ruptures in relationships, including litigations and other court matters.

So it is arguable that in these times of super efficiency and high-strung performance anxieties, we need to balance the paucity of time for each other by deliberately taking out time to acknowledge each others role and importance in building up a successfully satisfying family; a family where someone is a father, a mother, daughter, a son, a brother, a sister, etc. While historically many of our societies have acknowledged women’s contributions and importance in sustaining a progressive society, acknowledging men was not considered necessary because of various reasons including chivalry itself. In these modern times this deliberate step of acknowledging a man’s role is also very important, just like acknowledging women on women’s day.

Several countries already have a practice of celebrating men’s day, this year ‘Save Indian Family’ along with ‘Hallmark’, one of the leading greeting card companies in India, have decided to mark November 19th as the first International Men’s day celebration in India.

Here are some images which could bring out the necessity of International Men’s day: Men toiling under the wrath of the hot sun, inhaling noxious exhaust all through the day only for returning home to be with his beloveds, and to ensure that all the members have enough supplies to survive on, to be happy even if he has to scorch himself this way for a lifetime. Men selflessly putting themselves in the line of duty and fire to defend their country and hence thousands of its citizens, who do not even acknowledge his contributions and sacrifice. Men making a living amongst inhospitable conditions like furnaces, oil rigs, deserts, hazardous waste management, toxic sewage, nuclear plants, and other high risk occupations, doing these only following certain values of ‘providing’, ‘sacrificing’, selflessly toiling and silently bearing the brunt.

I asked some close associates in the opposite sex about why there should at all be a men’s day these were the reactions. From the infant stage the stress of getting into diapers and restricting themselves into the damp contours till the time of relief, to the crammed school commute in rickshaws or buses, it seems that boys are more susceptible to the stress factors. This observation is well backed by the lowering of the age for heart attacks among males, which now a days is not uncommon at the age of even thirty five!. Another observation was simply that they deserve a men’s day just because they are the ones who get entangled in the cross fire between a mother in law and a daughter in law, but I thought aloud why cannot these ladies cease to have a cross-fire at all! . Anyway it was a majority of approvers after the initial cynicism faded away into realisation that indeed men need a day to relax and to feel good that the world has finally decided to acknowledge his efforts and existence.

Centuries of social conditioning aid in sustaining this seemingly obscure behaviour of self-destruction; and this has been one of the most important traits of man throughout the history of mankind. Roles of men and women has evolved with the need of the times, and its still evolving in the modern era of ‘Knowledge’ where most of the jobs are knowledge based and not based on physical strength. Nevertheless the jobs which still has to be done manually, which has an element of risk and physical strength to it, gets done by men by and large- the responsibilities which they discharge without even batting an eyelid, owing to the same social-conditioning and inherent traits of putting oneself in the line of fire.

It is natural that nothing but spectacular or nail-biting gets noticed in this world, the same limitations of public perception paves way to the discounting and almost discrediting of the efforts by men. When a man does his duties, as per the social situation he is in, it is just that he is fulfilling the bare necessities of his existence. All said and done he neither gets appreciation nor acknowledgement for what he does in his lifetime, and since a man is not supposed to cry in desperation he is short-changed in that department too!

Earlier when men were supposed to defend kingdoms, farms, hamlets, households, dignity of his womenfolk, etc., may be expressions of love were in the form of social status, reverence and fear offered by the rest of the society. But this we are talking about millennia back in time, but in these times of ‘knowledge’ how do people acknowledge and appreciate each other, what other than ‘expressions of love’, an almost equivalent to a hug, a day earmarked for somebody who needs a hug. But again it is universally wondered why man needs a day to acknowledge him, its almost like on one day you have women’s day and all other days in an year are for men. This is as fallacious as saying; all the unsold toffees are there for the shop owner to enjoy! . Unless one is hugged, the person remains un-hugged; there is no shortcut to this road.

Connecting all these impressions to the familial situation that is prevailing in our society these days is also important. The way young men and women have dearth of respect and patience, if not love, in their relationship as a couple, it is almost imminent that more single parenting situations arise, a rise of a father-less society to be specific, given the inclination of our judiciary and society- denying fathers the rights of the children and thereby actually denying children their fathers. Again there have been numerous studies, the result of which is not oblivious to common wisdom too, that single parenting leads to behavioural aberrations in children and which in turn leads them to be adults with major personality disorders. Do we owe this to our children, a reality worse than ours?

An even daunting extension of the above scenario is the specter of fragmented families not in touch with each other, leading to even marriages among biological brothers and sisters. This is not at all figment of anyone’s imagination since these scenarios have already manifested themselves, almost extensively, in the western world, who are unfortunately the fore-runners of this scenario too. The moot question before us, as a nation proud of its families as strong building blocks, is that whether we would want to ape the west even in the way their societies have disintegrated into total anarchy. If not, why don’t we sit up and take lessons from the way they have disintegrated, and what to be beware of, what the west has painfully realised and is taking up as first-aid, moreover revisiting our morals and values for its time-tested efficacy and clairvoyance, in sustaining families as units of excellence and satisfaction.

What can we do as individuals? , a lot, is the answer. We can lead by example for one, and that’s the only way our children will imbibe values for a lifetime, we could start by respecting each other, we can salute the completeness attained when a man and woman join together. A complete entity, with so much diversity in life-skills and traits, could not be attained in a single organism and hence we had to be split (for fans of evolution- we had to evolve) into man and woman. Since we rightly have a women’s day let us complete the circle of goodness by having a men’s day, where we acknowledge the men in our life, be it a father, brother, son, uncle, nephew, friend, grand father, cousin, doctor, boss, anyone who you have thought favourably of, let them know your appreciation, lets keep a day in honour of them too- NOVEMBER 19th – is International Men’s Day.

Thursday, September 13, 2007


Hallmark & SIF Bringing out Men's Day Cards: An email to discuss the possible concepts

Dear Ms.Aruna,

As discussed in our telecon I am attaching a Picture of father & daughter , which appealed to many us, in our group, facing alienation from our kids. This is in fact the our main page picture at one of our sub groups in the SIF Network; Save Indian Child : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SaveIndianChild

I myself have not seen my eldest daughter(I have a newborn now, from my remarriage) since she was 1 month old, and for 5 years now I haven't seen or talked to her, or rather I have been denied that right, to put briefly.

But as discussed this bond of a father and daughter/child cannot be the sole concept, which would paint the entire picture with respect to the Men's day(anyway its taken care by exclusive "fathers day", but the question remains ....what happens to the segment "alienated fathers" do they deserve a separate day!? :), may be some day we will talk about this too, for now I am linking you to an article about our cause, going to be featured in a newsletter by a social organisation, see the bottom of this post).

But somehow we need to put elements of this aspect, of a man, in the cards we are now trying to conjure up.

As I mentioned, lets have images where Men are putting in their best for the family, for the Nation, for the causes and values which they get ready to die for. So that people sit and realise that ... yes.... this guy need to be hugged with a card, as mark of love and recognition for all the thankless efforts he has been putting in without even knowing to whether to expect some love at least in return or not!. When he puts his body in the line of fire, when he jumps into the torrent of a river without even blinking an eye to save a dear one, when he pulls a rickshaw under scorching sun gasping for air in plumes of noxious fumes and returns home tired, but with a toy for his children and love for his wife.... the ideas are endless, but how to put it subtly and still project the essence of this thankless existence, is what you guys in the creative side has been doing the best!.

If my messages are getting a bit emotional, I am sorry, its since I am getting emotional, since I , along with hundreds in our group(including fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, sisters, etc.), have been short changed for love and respect, time and again, from among our kith and kin. Its not the problem with the person I am/we are up against, its the problem with the centuries or millenniums of social conditioning , which has been instrumental in programming everyone in our society to neglect/discredit men as some one who all the time needs and yearns for some expression of love from others, in the bottom of his heart!(moot point: why is a man not supposed to cry, is he not an emotional being, doesn't his tear glands have a mandate to cry out of emotion!).

Lets say it with cards, thank you my man, we all love you...... to brothers, sons, fathers, nephews, grandsons, great grandsons......Some such appropriately worded and heart-felt expressions(embellished by suitable Pictures and "Verbalised Hugs") which you and your creative team can make in a jiffy, but something which I can only get emotionally eloquent about!.

Every body needs to be touched deep inside, yes.... and....not just non-males :).
Lets make it good, lets do it.

Warm Regards,

Gokul - http://gokul.go.to/ , http://www.pifngo.info/ (Director),09895697372(at Kerala now, till Mid September), 9821414336(Mumbai)(Read and participate at http://www.siftimes.com/ (Editor), and at: http://siftimes.com/blog )

PS: Read on about our Save Indian Family scope, awareness and other objectives......... at: http://at498a.blogspot.com/2007/09/sif-awareness-article-for-newsletter-of.html

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

SIF AWARENESS ARTICLE FOR NEWSLETTER OF 'PRABHU-SANGH'

Towards a good life- Protecting families, building a better India

It is a pleasure to write to you all through this wonderful publication, at the same its sad that we had to take up this cause which was forced on to our modern society by legal terrorism, which is widespread and leaves no one out of its ambit.

Yes, the following piece of information is concerned with any Indian National, Living anywhere in the world, since they themselves or their loved ones will be much better placed acquiring this bit of information, and hence working towards the solutions of this problem, which is being explained in the remaining sections.
The more awareness this menace of legal terrorism gets, the better since we can fight this “Systemic Rot” only with the majority franchise of responsible citizens of India. You may wonder what is new in the term ‘Systemic Rot’ or in general, ‘Corruption’ (of values, responsibilities, dealings, etc.), but this specific subject deals with the entire family one has, so is more horrifying and more serious than ever, please read on… while I will not try to mince words or ideas. Hope you read it for all of our wellness, and Indian families’ harmony.

Save Indian Family(SIF) - Vision


• We are an international network of NGOs and individuals (currently over 20 NGOs and 50,000 families across the globe), which is a Non-Profit, Self-Help, Support Group for victims of misuse of laws concerning families, ie. Domestic Violence, Dowry, Dowry & Law [IPC 498A]; and misuse of other Gender biased Laws. We started our activities in 2003, but grew exponentially, as the menace of legal terrorism and family destruction went rampant. For details &Media references, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Save_Indian_Family

• Our aim is to reduce legal interference in simple inter-personal relationships, and to avoid victimisation of families by way of misuse of gender-biased laws. Last but not the least to instill a sense of value, and to inspire bonds based on respect and love, in both the partners who forms the basic building block of a family and hence a Nation.

Who constitutes SIF

• These laws concerning families are generally misused to wreck vengeance, gain control or extort money from the victim-family.

• This is the same reason why victim-families usually are well off and are well employed and well educated (IITs, IIMs, IAS/IPS, etc.). 90% of our current members are from the IT field, the rest are Doctors, Businessmen, even Judges and Policemen are not immune, apart from Politicians and Film actors. We have around 10% NRI members

• We have active members/groups/NGOs in UK(most parts of Europe), USA, Australia, Japan, South Africa, Tanzania, Botswana, all over Middle East, apart from over 20 centers in India. Please refer the helpline numbers at http://www.pifngo.info/ , for the extent of our network(Table towards the bottom of the main page)

Recent visual Media References

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgjA3KcQmWc & http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaMZP7plUAQ : Janmath Tv program on Legal Terrorism-Aug 25,2007
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awW3gsNqBCA : India Tv program covering SIF’s National Protest/Dharna against Legal Terrorism-Aug 25,2007
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBN-lzpzTME : India Tv sting operation exposing a well-entrenched cartel including Government hospital Doctors who ‘makes’ medical certificates showing injuries so that families can be implicated in false cases-June 2007
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pebTDzu2Nk : siftimes.com exclusive interview with Star Tamil actor Prashanth(film “Jeans” fame) who was implicated in false case of IPC 498a,by his ‘wife’ who married him while she was still married to another person(without a divorce!!!)- July 2007.
Brief History of SIF, Objectives and FAQ

Though SIFF(full official name Save Indian Family Foundation) came into formal existence in 2005 as a yahoogroup of individual members and NGOs, the movement can be traced back to 2003 when a group of individual members coordinated themselves and helped each other with information and other relevant issues, through internet discussion boards, emails and some other yahoo groups. At present SIFF is a registered entity, similarly to the member NGO- PIFF which is registered with the Ministry of Company Affairs.
Our primary aim is to facilitate a better family system for the progress of a family and hence positive progress of India.
Currently there is widespread insecurities and disputes including legal cases running through a vast majority of Indian families, owing to some Indian Laws concerning families which are Skewed, .not very well thought out and rationalised. Because of these skews or biases in our laws, more and more families are pushed into the ignominy of wastefully destructive litigations which runs into years and years of misery and lower productivity and peace of mind, hampering the peace and progress of our Indian families both in India as well as abroad. We aim to get these skewed laws, which result in broken and dysfunctional families, rationalised for better familial and national progress by and large, and hence facilitate a better family system wherever an Indian family may be across the globe.
Please find the following links for objectives of Save Indian Family(http://www.saveindianfamily.org/pages/SIFF_aims_objects.pdf ) and Protect Indian Family Foundation, which is a member-NGO of the SIF network. (http://protectindianfamily.org/index.php?module=articles&c=articles&b=2&a=1 and http://protectindianfamily.org/index.php?module=articles&c=articles&b=1&a=3)
Protect Indian Family Foundation(PIFF), Mumbai is an NGO Member of SIFF Network(the Umbrella movement in which many other national and International NGOs, Research organisations and Individuals/families across the globe are part of).
*********Some FAQs about our Movement- SIF ***********
1) Q -> First, our readers would wish to know more about this unique agenda called Save Indian family Network and all your campaign as part of it.
A-> There is an increasing trend of destructive influences vis-à-vis the Indian Family, one of the most obvious and avoidable being the bias in the legal system, which leads to destruction of many a Indian family. Instead of promotion Domestic Harmony these laws are unbalanced and seemingly plays to the politics of vote bank. For instance IPC 498a which is the law against cruelty against women (wives) is widely misused and is the cause of legal terrorism at the hands of unscrupulously opportunistic women, against her husband and relatives(including a mother and sister, on a average). Laws like this is so harsh in its powers that it could be manipulated to trap innocent victims even without any investigation by the police, just on the words of a law-misusing, extortionist wife. The original intent of these laws(including the new Domestic Violence Law) were to prevent offences against women, which is undisputed. We are only working towards amending these laws so that the scope of misuse is reduced, as well as to spread awareness and establish provisions to prevent offences against Men and his family members which is a growing trend as evidenced by worldwide activism by Men's Right Groups(http://at498a.blogspot.com/2007/04/radars-lobbying-against-international.html ).
2) Q-> Is there anything disconcerting trends in the society that spell concern/doom for the Indian family? If yes, what are the trends?.
A-> The trend of Materialism over and above familial progress, and the various offshoots of this trend. Especially the eagerness to get ahead of others even at the cost of one's own family and its progress.
3) Q-> Which are the most exaggerated and the most undermined roles in a traditional Indian family? (here you can make light of the more-often-than-not weak case of the man or supposed head of family)
A-> Roles are sometimes exaggerated but sometimes undermined, but there is an increasing trend of painting the role of men as oppressors, and women as victims- as if it is a universal constant!. If this was left at it, there would not have been much cause of worry, but laws are built on this premise, harshly against men, which are waiting to be misused at the hands of unscrupulous women- this is the case of worry.
4) Q-> How are the sets of family, society, community and nation connected and how can they be made mutually beneficial?
A-> Family is the basic block of a society and hence a nation. For a Nation to be progressing, the family first needs to be on that path. For a family to progress, there need be nurturing of members not oppression of any. When there the launch pad is firm, there is no limit to which one can reach.
5) Q-> Discuss the so-called domestic laws and their good points, flaws or even ambiguity or absence – dowry, inheritance, domestic violence, senior citizens etc.
A-> The good thing about Domestic laws is that they address the point when a woman is oppressed, the bad point is also that they address only the scenario in which a woman is oppressed, not the scenarios in which Men are oppressed. The recent Protection of Women against Domestic Violence law even necessitates that the complainant needs to be a women and the accused(respondent) needs to be a Man, thus excluding other scenarios of domestic violence from this laws ambit. What happens to the senior citizens who are oppressed by women, men harassed my women?. Though our dowry laws has a provision for punishment of Dowry Givers, how many instances of dowry giving has been punished?!. Surprised?. In how many instances have girls married (for whatever reasons it may be) lesser-established boys without paying dowry?(by not buying the boy)
6) Q-> Any other fact relevant to the context of the Indian family and that needs to be crusaded against… Crusade for…..
A-> Crusade for….. educating young men and women about what a marriage entails, what partners need to contribute, what values to imbibe, need for perseverance before thoughts of luxury.
Explicitly: Establishing framework and laws that promote family as the building block for progress.
Crusade against…. The trend of need for instant gratification, in the process, intolerance to efforts and results.
Explicitly: Opposing laws and lobbies, which lead to moral decay and oppression towards selective sections of our society.
*************** End of FAQ****************
Also check out this http://www.angelfire.com/pe/terzohrab/dowrylaw.html: Indian Dowry Law (498a) : Myth vs. Reality
- An investigative Report© 2005-2007 Asha-Kiran. All rights reserved.
(Disclaimer: None of the material can be reproduced, displayed, modified or distributed without the permission of the copyright holder. For permission, contact: mailto:help.ashakiran@gmail.com.)
Also see another ink which will help you understand why even Supreme court finds the misuse of laws like 498a, horrendous: http://www.saveindianfamily.org/blogs/2005/07/22/sc-legal-terrorism/
See some observations on the new Domestic Violence law which also could be misused to gargantuan proportions: http://www.saveindianfamily.org/blogs/2006/11/13/sif-opposes-dvlaw .


Our Activities:

As mentioned we have local SIF chapters/active members/NGOs in UK(most parts of Europe), USA, Australia, Japan, Singapore, Malaysia, South Africa, Tanzania, Botswana, all over Middle East, apart from over 20 centers in India. Please refer the helpline numbers at http://www.pifngo.info/ , for the extent of our network(Table towards the bottom of the main page).

We conduct weekly counseling meetings in most of our local groups, where we impart legal as well as emotional strength to the new members, while the old members move on to be Activists armed with new values and tools of knowledge(which kills fear), of trust(which increases synergy), of values(which makes on strong from inside), of socially responsible Action(which makes one selfless). So we invite all socially aware and responsible Indian Citizens to help out fellow humans, even if one may not be remotely involved in the menace depicted in the previous sections. We need each other for building a good tomorrow. Please come forward without prejudice, fear or hesitation. All are welcome to join this movement for fighting for ones right to have a honourable life, for truth, for justice and for dignity and love.

Jai Hind

Gokul.P.R

For Protect Indian Family, NGO, Mumbai
http://pifngo.info/ , Helplines: +91 9224335577, 9869323538 .
Read daily news at : http://www.siftimes.com/ , participate in discussions at www.siftimes.com/blog

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

'Peace Ride' on bikes around Bombay,30th Sept 2007

As you may be already knowing, we, in association with Bombay Bikers, are doing a 'Peace Ride' on bikes(and if needed Cars) around Bombay, 30th September in conjunction with Gandhi Jayanthi.

Please do confirm your participation by registering/confirming , see the route details too, at: http://www.bombaybikers.com/prepration/index.php?trip_no=19 . If you are unable to access the site, please send an email to me(drmura (at) hotmail (dot) come or hemant(hemant.kulshreshtha @ gmail.com ) in this regard.

Brief details of the Peace Ride(Bikes and Cars too)


Start Date: 30 Sep 2007, Start Time: 10: 30 Hrs
Meeting Point: 10:30 AM - Bandra Reclamation

Route / Haults
Bandra Reclamation > Worli > Chowpatty > Marine Line > Nariman Point > VT > Mohamad Ali Road Fly over > Kings Cricle > Sion > Bandra Reclamation

End Date : 30 Sep 2007, End Time : Before 5 PM

Contact Persons
Kamal - 91 9867550703 , Simi - 91 9967642220,
Gokul(SIF)- 91 9821414336, Hemant(SIF) - 91 9324556700

Pls participate in the poll regarding this Peace Ride: http://www.orkut.com/CommPollResults.aspx?cmm=22229511&pct=1188454247&pid=573459727

or at http://www.orkut.com/CommPollResults.aspx?cmm=14080103&pct=1188998479&pid=567088348

Each of your efforts will go a long way in bringing back the tranquility at home, since Charity begins at Home. Home is the fountainhead of life-force, lets nurture the tranquility for families to thrive.

Let there be PEACEEEEEEEEEEE

*************
Warm Regards, Gokul - http://gokul.go.to , www.pifngo.info (Director), 09895697372(at Kerala now, till Mid September), 9821414336(Mumbai) (Read and participate at www.siftimes.com (Editor), and at: http://siftimes.com/blog )

PS: at the bombay bikers site(link above) you will find the list of confirmed participants until now, we expect ateleast 10 SIFian bikes(20 people, plus Pune guys if they make it finally) and another 20 Bombay Bikers Bikes(40 people), thumbing it down on a sunday criss cross mumbai.......... jai ambe

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Invation to Mr.ArjunSingh: NationalMeet &Protest against-Misuse-of-Laws concerning Families(IPC498a/DomesticViolence&DowryProhibition acts,causing Family&Elder Abuse

To,

Mr.Arjun Singh,
17, Akbar Road, New Delhi
Tel: 23016516, 23017340, Fax- 23017404, 9868181607(M)
Email:
arjuns@sansad.nic.in


Dear Mr.Singh,

Greetings from all at Protect Indian Family, Mumbai.

Let me introduce our Umbrella Group "Save Indian Family"(SIF) as a network of NGOs, Individuals and other socially responsible Organisations and Authorities. Currently the yahoo group of SIF has a strength of 3000 NGO and Individual members in total, on actual ground we have more than 50000 families as our members and above 20 NGOs as our Network-affiliates spread pan-globe.

Our main area of concern and hence work is regarding Misuse of Laws concerning Families in India(and families with People of Indian citizenship abroad). As you are well aware, and since you yourselves had a first hand encounter with the Viscious and Malignant misuse of IPC 498a, I would desist explaining anymore in this regard. You could check our websites and New Publication http://www.siftimes.com/ for more information and current events being reported all around the world in this line.

Unfortunately or Fortunately! the Octopus hands of this blatantly misused laws do not stop at any threshold, be it Mr.Huda(haryana), yourselves or Popular Businessmen(Aseem Premji of Wipro was falsely accused in a Domestic Violence case recently, allegdly for giving "Dating Allowance" for wipro employess, this alleged 'allowance' later turned out to be fictitous and the allegation proved to be opportunistically oblique, to amass a quick buck as Ransom/Extortion Money by the Law misusing wife of a Wipro employee-Mr.Gaurav Nigam, who is our Member since then).

We also have Mr.Deepak Pandey I.P.S(for Aid De Camp(A.D.C) to the Gorverner or Maharashtra), as our member and well wisher; who was falsely alleged of Cruelty to his IAS wife(after 2 yers of Suspension and Departmental enquiry, he was re-instated with full compensations for the suspension period!- but who is responsible and how can anyone make-up for Mr.Deepak's(or any of our memeber's) valuable time, Mental Truama, Irreversible scars on ones personality and psyche and health). He is just one of the luminaries who has associated with us, along with other eminent personalities including judges, policemen/policewomen!, Actors, and other persons in prime societal positions, who were ruthless, undeservingly and vexatiously victimised by wrongful use of these laws by LEGAL TERRORISTS.

This email is specifically to inform you that our umbrella group, Save Indian Family(the yahoo group of which you are already a member of), is organising a National Level Meeting and Protest in Delhi((held on 25th and 26th August.... details: http://mynation.wordpress.com/2007/08/21/national-level-protest-against-dowry-dv-laws-on-26th-aug2007/) .

We would like your association in these events(held on 25th and 26th August) as a Patron or Affiliate etc., as you think appropriate. We are planning to print Banners, Invitations, etc, with all affiliate's names and their Logos etc.(like you can see in the invitation uploaded in the above link), to show strength and credibility in our demands of 'Preventing Misuse/Abuse of Laws concerning families, while Protecting genuine Victims'.

You could kindly let us know your views on the above regarding associating with our group, or could chose to bless us in our endevours in this direction, since we need all your support and cooperation to be able to take this Revolt against "Systemic ROT", which is axing the roots of Indian families and hence going to the decay of the Nation itself eventually, and hence laws prone to misuse.

Do let us know your impressions by reply email.


Warm Regards,

Gokul, http://gokul.go.to/, 9821414336(Mumbai)
Editor - http://www.siftimes.com/ , Director- http://www.pifngo.info/
Protect Indian Family: "For Family Harmony.. Against Legal Terrorism"

Thursday, June 14, 2007

THE SENIOR CITIZENS(MAINTENANCE,PROTECTION&WELFARE) BILL, 2006: http://rajyasabha.nic.in/bills-ls-rs/2006/X_2006.PDF

Its very sad to realise that it needed a bill for enforcing the debt repayment (which cannot be repaid even in a lifetime by a child) we owe to our old parents. It pains to know that we have 'advanced' so much materialistically to come a conclusion that old people are not 'economically viable' in our scheme of things!. In our pursuits for higher posts, salaries, newer toys, bigger houses and villas, our hearts become smaller and smaller to the extend that our own parents cannot be accommodated in it anymore.

Anyway its good that government has realised this unfortunate trend of desertion and indifference towards old parents/grand parents. And the bill sounds very good in its intentions, it remains to be seen how the implementation is done and what are the actual guidelines laid out in the final Law after the Bill is passed. Questions like what’s the time frame in which relief is made available and whether the process of redressal is straight and clean, crop up in mind having seen lots of shoddily drafted laws which disadvantage our seniors, like IPC 498a, Domestic violence etc(please go through some of the instances we came across in field, below).

In Domestic Violence laws its said that the complainant should be given right to residence, some misuse of DV act can lead to loss on part of parents who may lose their residence to the law-misusing daughter in law. In many of the cases we have come across in our group, we have known for a fact that the elderly parents are the worst affected along with kids, when a law like IPC 498a or DV act is misused, where elders often will have wash their hands off from a life time's savings- just on the basis of a false complaint by the wives side.

Similarly talking about implementation of DV act requires 'Protection officers' and 'Service Providers'(NGOs or groups who are already in social services or related services are supposed to apply for being service providers), these two requirements of the DV law is not yet fully chartered out and hence in many places DV act is actually a white elephant, this bill for seniors too can go that way since there is a requirement that there should be tribunals in every district- I wonder how fast or whether this can be achieved in practice.

Having said about the lack of concern by youngsters towards their parents in the name of economic success and pursuits, I also would like to caution that there is a possibility of misuse of this law too, since revocation of will and jail sentences too are possible from offences under this law. This is more so since anyone can complain (on the behalf of senior citizens), about the so-called neglect and desertion of parents by children and such complaints could be false with some oblique motive, just using the vulnerability of parents who are totally dependant on someone else while their children are pursuing their careers and interests elsewhere (but supporting and maintaining their parents all the while). Therefore proper investigation of the case facts and evidences has to take place before any action against the accused are undertaken (the offence should not be cognisable or non-bailable, lest this fire power is misused for wrecking vengeance by someone who tricks the old people into filing false cases against their kids, or in any other scenario where these provisions of law is misused for some reason or the other). In some cases indifferent parents would have been instrumental in bringing-up indifferent children, in which case penalising only the children is kind of biased and unfortunate (who cared when that child was getting mistreated or uncared for?).

You can find some counter arguments in the above lines here:
http://www.suchetadalal.com/articles/display/46/2289.article . Where the author concludes by mentioning " The growth of individualism, the fraying bonds of kinship and blood, decay of the joint and extended family are not moral failings, but are the inseparable companions of economic success. The neglected and abandoned elderly are only the generational counterpart of children hurt, mistreated, abused or exploited by sometimes desperate parents. If the government wishes to enforce its desire that all dependant people should be tended and cherished, it will have to come up with some more imaginative way of dealing with the injuries to which its own enthusiastic polices have made such a significant contribution. "

What we need as a permanent guideline is to imbibe good values, not legalising inter-personal relationships or delivering force-fitted piece-meal solutions, where love is the only thing lacking!.
Adding some points vis a vis an FAQ:

Q -> Discuss the so-called domestic laws and their good points, flaws or even ambiguity or absence – dowry, inheritance, domestic violence, senior citizens etc.

Ans -> The good thing about Domestic laws is that they address the point when a woman is oppressed, the bad point is also that they address only the scenario in which a woman is oppressed, not the scenarios in which Men are oppressed.

The recent Protection of Women against Domestic Violence law even necessitates that the complainant needs to be a women and the accused (respondent) needs to be a Man, thus excluding other scenarios of domestic violence from this laws ambit. What happens to the senior citizens who are oppressed by women, men harassed my women?.

Though our dowry laws has a provision for punishment of Dowry Givers, how many instances of dowry giving has been punished?!. Surprised?. In how many instances have girls married (for whatever reasons it may be) lesser-established boys without paying dowry?(by not buying the boy)

Its the same parents who lament after marrying off a daughter to someone, somehow, by paying of dowry, while totally avoiding the issue of equal inheritance by both son and daughter. Which if done and enforced, will end the social menace called dowry.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

I would like to introduce our NGO, "Protect Indian Family Foundation", and its Vision and activities to you.

We are a part of the 'Save Indian Family Foundation'(SIFF) which is a movement incorporating various International and National and International NGOs, local self-help groups , Individuals and Indian Families, spread across the world. Currently we are over 10,000 individuals in strength, having around 10 NGOs as our 'active' associates, with at least 3000 families in constant touch with us through our personal meetings, helpline, emails and local and main yahoogroups.

Our members are spread all over the globe, be it USA, UK, Africa, Gulf, Australasian, the Americas or Far east countries, and we coordinate out activities and discuss our thoughts primarily through Internet, with the local groups and NGOs executing suitably chosen plans for the respective locality/state in discussion and coordination with other groups or NGOs.
Though SIFF came into formal existence in 2005 as a yahoogroup of individual members and NGOs, the movement can be traced back to 2003 when a group of individual members coordinated themselves and helped each other with information and other relevant issues, through internet discussion boards, emails and some other yahoo groups. At present SIFF is a registered entity, similarly to the member NGO- PIFF which is registered with the Ministry of Company Affairs.

Our primary aim is to facilitate a better family system for the progress of a family and hence positive progress of India.

Currently there is widespread insecurities and disputes including legal cases running through a vast majority of Indian families, owing to some Indian Laws concerning families which are Skewed, .not very well thought out and rationalised. Because of these skews or biases in our laws, more and more families are pushed into the ignominy of wastefully destructive litigations which runs into years and years of misery and lower productivity and peace of mind, hampering the peace and progress of our Indian families both in India as well as abroad. We aim to get these skewed laws, which result in broken and dysfunctional families, rationalised for better familial and national progress by and large, and hence facilitate a better family system wherever an Indian family may be across the globe.

Please find the following links for objectives of Save Indian Family(http://www.saveindianfamily.org/pages/SIFF_aims_objects.pdf ) and Protect Indian Family Foundation(http://protectindianfamily.org/index.php?module=articles&c=articles&b=2&a=1 and http://protectindianfamily.org/index.php?module=articles&c=articles&b=1&a=3 ) which is a member-NGO of the SIF network.

Protect Indian Family Foundation(PIFF), Mumbai is an NGO Member of SIFF Network(the Umbrella movement in which many other national and International NGOs, Research organisations and Individuals/families across the globe are part of).

*********Some FAQs about our Movement- SIF ***********

1) Q -> First, like I already requested, our readers would wish to know more about this unique agenda called Save Indian family Network and all your campaign as part of it.

A-> There is an increasing trend of destructive influences vis-à-vis the Indian Family, one of the most obvious and avoidable being the bias in the legal system, which leads to destruction of many a Indian family. Instead of promotion Domestic Harmony these laws are unbalanced and seemingly plays to the politics of vote bank. For instance IPC 498a which is the law against cruelty against women (wives) is widely misused and is the cause of legal terrorism at the hands of unscrupulously opportunistic women, against her husband and relatives(including a mother and sister, on a average). Laws like this is so harsh in its powers that it could be manipulated to trap innocent victims even without any investigation by the police, just on the words of a law-misusing, extortionist wife. The original intent of these laws(including the new Domestic Violence Law) were to prevent offences against women, which is undisputed. We are only working towards amending these laws so that the scope of misuse is reduced, as well as to spread awareness and establish provisions to prevent offences against Men and his family members which is a growing trend as evidenced by worldwide activism by Men's Right Groups(http://at498a.blogspot.com/2007/04/radars-lobbying-against-international.html ).

2) Q-> Is there anything disconcerting about the trends with the society that spell concern/doom for the Indian family? If yes, what are the trends?.

A-> The trend of Materialism over and above familial progress, and the various offshoots of this trend. Especially the eagerness to get ahead of others even at the cost of one's own family and its progress.

3) Q-> Which are the most exaggerated and the most undermined roles in a traditional Indian family? (here you can make light of the more-often-than-not weak case of the man or supposed head of family)

A-> Roles are sometimes exaggerated but sometimes undermined, but there is an increasing trend of painting the role of men as oppressors, and women as victims- as if it is a universal constant!. If this was left at it, there would not have been much cause of worry, but laws are built on this premise, harshly against men, which are waiting to be misused at the hands of unscrupulous women- this is the case of worry.

4) Q-> How are the sets of family, society, community and nation connected and how can they be made mutually beneficial?

A-> Family is the basic block of a society and hence a nation. For a Nation to be progressing, the family first needs to be on that path. For a family to progress, there need be nurturing of members not oppression of any. When there the launch pad is firm, there is no limit to which one can reach.

5) Q-> Discuss the so-called domestic laws and their good points, flaws or even ambiguity or absence – dowry, inheritance, domestic violence, senior citizens etc.

A-> The good thing about Domestic laws is that they address the point when a woman is oppressed, the bad point is also that they address only the scenario in which a woman is oppressed, not the scenarios in which Men are oppressed. The recent Protection of Women against Domestic Violence law even necessitates that the complainant needs to be a women and the accused(respondent) needs to be a Man, thus excluding other scenarios of domestic violence from this laws ambit. What happens to the senior citizens who are oppressed by women, men harassed my women?. Though our dowry laws has a provision for punishment of Dowry Givers, how many instances of dowry giving has been punished?!. Surprised?. In how many instances have girls married (for whatever reasons it may be) lesser-established boys without paying dowry?(by not buying the boy)

6) Q->Any other fact relevant to the context of the Indian family and that needs to be crusaded against… Crusade for…..

A->Crusade for….. educating young men and women about what a marriage entails, what partners need to contribute, what values to imbibe, need for perseverance before thoughts of luxury.
Explicitly: Establishing framework and laws that promote family as the building block for progress.
Crusade against…. The trend of need for instant gratification, in process intolerance to efforts and results.
Explicitly: Opposing laws and lobbies, which lead to moral decay and oppression towards selective sections of our society.

*************** End of FAQ****************

Also check out this http://www.angelfire.com/pe/terzohrab/dowrylaw.html : Indian Dowry Law (498a) : Myth vs. Reality - An investigative Report
© 2005-2007 Asha-Kiran. All rights reserved.
(None of the material can be reproduced, displayed, modified or distributed without the permission of the copyright holder. For permission, contact: help.ashakiran@gmail.com .)

Also see another ink which will help you understand why even Supreme court finds the misuse of laws like 498a, horrendous: http://www.saveindianfamily.org/blogs/2005/07/22/sc-legal-terrorism/

See some observations on the new Domestic Violence law which also could be misused to gargantuan proportions: http://www.saveindianfamily.org/blogs/2006/11/13/sif-opposes-dvlaw .

Friday, April 20, 2007

I may be the fool here, but let me risk the possibility of being termed just that

Why this Dual Standards? -Why dont we write the laws entirely pandering to women's desires instead. Re:Married woman can live with her lover, says court

Ref:Article in Hindustan Times, dtd.April 19, 2007 -> http://www.hindustantimes.com/StoryPage/StoryPage.aspx?id=9e0b7ae6-86f2-4cb8-812e-a71677b4d729&

Married woman can live with her lover, says court
by KS Tomar, Email Author , Jaipur,

Subject: But really..........Can a married woman lawfully live with her lover against the will of her husband?
(do comment on this subject at http://www.saveindianfamily.org/articles/2007/04/i-may-be-fool-here-but-let-me-risk.html )

Hello Everyone,

I may be the fool here, but let me risk the possibility of being termed just that, and yet ask everyone- whether a woman can live with her lover(especially without the consent of her husband!, howmuchever unlikely the possibility of situations to the contrary could be!), while her legal marriage with her husband still exists(will she be legally correct in doing so?. At least isn't a crime of Adultery for her lover?): http://www.vakilno1.com/bareacts/IndianPenalCode/S497.htm , excerpt of this is quoted at the bottom of this mail for ready reference).


Its a simple question, which I consciously made so short so that we can start the discussion based on the popular verdict on this.

The secondary question related to whether a married woman can live with her lover, while her legal husband is alive and non-consenting to this scenario, is that, whether a Judge of an Indian court right, in pronouncing that there is nothing wrong (did the learned judge mean that nothing is wrong 'morally'!, is his role to be a love-guru or a culture-vulture or even a purveyor of morality, or , as expected of him, the upholder of justice or at least, in the bargain, the upholder of WRITTEN LAW prevailing in Present India!).

Some observations on the news(this is uploaded at http://www.protectindianfamily.org/?module=filesdb&id=7&fid=3&get=1 for reference)

The judge may be logically or even morally correct in taking this stance in the above scenario, since the girl, in this case, seem to be not all interested(even before marriage she had this 'thing' going!) in her 'legally-married-to-husband". Moreover her lover seems to be ready to face a possible 'Adultery' case! against him, which is what the IPC 497-Adultery
reads out, but only that the judge is not at all ready to take action against him on grounds of adultery, which is the justifiable behaviour expected out of an Honourable Judge(I am assuming that the detailed judgement really doesn't talk about an action under section 497 ie. Adultery law, already been pressed on the lover)

Why this double standards by the Judiciary!- when a girl does obviously wrongful acts according to the WRITTEN LAW of a country, she gets away with favourable interpretations, hearings and readings of the law. This is ensure even if it requires our Judges to do this by bending over backwards or even winding themselves into unjustifiable coils of Judicial wisdom and interpretations, and "woolly woolly words" for judgements, with a willing 180 degree spin-doctoring by the Judiciary , only when the party concerned is a woman(along with her paramour, intact, at her heels). I am not at all justifying the girl's husband, I am just focusing on the courts lenience towards her, which is just the summary of many a case in India, a blatant Gender-Skew!.

Meanwhile when men live by the law, they are treated Guilty until proven innocent(by his own effort, ie. burden of proof solely on himself), yes I am referring to the misuse of gender-biased-skewed laws like IPC 498a and Domestic Violence Act , etc.. If in the legal interpretation of our judges men always have a propensity to do 'bad', and thats why they need to give some 'headstart' to women by ruling in favour of them!, why don't they change the 'WRITTEN LAW ' , so that at least men do not have the ignominy of living with a
non-enforceable Indian Penal Code with respect to men, by and large!.

So the Questions once again are:

1. Whether a married woman can live with her lover, while her legal husband is alive and non-consenting to this scenario(this has reference to the validity of the Adultery law ie IPC 497, as it stands now!)- will she be legally correct in doing so

2. With respect to the above scenario, whether a Judge of an Indian court right in pronouncing that there is nothing wrong on the part of the lady or her lover.- Is the Judge legally correct in doing so

Reference: Indian Penal Code, Section 497. Adultery

Whoever has sexual intercourse with a person who is and whom he knows
or has reason to believe to be the wife of another man, without the consent or connivance of that man, such sexual intercourse not amounting to the offence of
rape, is guilty of the offence of adultery, and shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to five years, or with fine, or with both. In such case the wife shall be punishable as an abettor
.(->Interpretation, the Girl is not an
offender of any law in this case, not even a co-accused!)


----------------------------------------------------
On 4/19/07, ramdama dam wrote:
http://www.hindustantimes.com/StoryPage/StoryPage.aspx?id=9e0b7ae6-86f2-4cb8-812e-a71677b4d729&Can a married woman lawfully live with her lover against the will of her husband? The Rajasthan High Court says yes. In a judgment on Wednesday, the court allowed a married woman, Manju, to live with her lover, Suresh. "It is improper to pass an order to hand over any unwilling married woman to her husband with whom she does not want to stay," said justices GS Mishra and KC Sharma. The court also said that nobody should consider an adult woman as a consumer product. While dismissing a habeas corpus petition filed by Manju's husband, the court came down hard on the misuse of habeas corpus petitions by people who want to thrust their will upon adult women without their consent. The court said the husband was free to approach the family court for divorce. Commenting on the judgment, senior Supreme Court advocate and noted women's rights activist Indira Jaising said, "Though it sounds strange, I am in complete agreement with the high court." "At the end of the day an adult woman has a right to decide whom she wants to live with. She can't be forced to go with her husband against her will," Jaising said. In this case, Jaising said, it is clear that the woman was prepared for divorce. She also felt that Manju's husband had abused the habeas corpus petition because such petitions were generally filed when somebody is actually missing. Asked whether it amounted to adultery, Jaising clarified that the woman could not be prosecuted for this offence under the law. As for the other man, she said, "it seems he is ready to face that". National Commission for Women Chairperson Girija Vyas said that although it seemed like an important judgment, she could not comment on it since she had not seen it yet. Manoj Chaudhry, the counsel for Manju and Suresh, had earlier rejected as baseless the allegations that Manju had been kept in illegal confinement by Suresh. He said that the duo had been living together by their free will and that the relationship had begun even before Manju had got married. With inputs from Satya Prakash and Sutirtho Patranobis.


. All India Helpline Number: 91-92434 73794 (24 Hours)Alternate Nos : 91-9810611534 or 080-65334135 Volunteer Helpline Numbers (limited contact hours)--------------------------------------------------------------- Delhi: Ashish : 9911119113, Swarup : 9810611534 Rajiv :9891369616 Bangalore: 80-65334135 Kolkata : 033-25347398/25217318 Mumbai: 9224335577 / 9869323538 Ahmadabad:9825365816

Saturday, April 07, 2007

RADAR's lobbying against International Violence Against Women Act

Email from RADAR.........

All –

We have now finalized our letter to Senators Biden and Lugar – see below and attached to this message -- and our letter now has 37 co-signers from 10 countries – what an accomplishment! Thanks to all!

This is our game plan: Republican Senator Lugar is still on the fence. If we can persuade him to not support I-VAWA, the chances are very good we can stop this dangerous bill.

This coming week, we want to ask you and the members of your group to contact Senator Lugar. So today, please advise your members that the BIG PUSH will be this coming week. We want to ask your members to e-mail, telephone, and/or send a fax to Senator Lugar.

Here’s his contact information:
E-mail: senator_lugar@lugar.senate.gov
Phone: +1-202-224-4814 FAX: +1-202-228-0360

The message should be simple, polite, and short – something like:

“Senator Lugar, please do not support the International Violence Against Women Act. I-VAWA would be harmful to families, children, women, and men.”
Remember that we succeeded last fall at the United Nations. We can do it again.

Cheers,
Ed

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Open Letter to Senators Joseph Biden and Richard Lugar
Regarding the International Violence Against Women Act

April 13, 2007

Dear Senators Biden and Lugar:

Domestic violence is an important social problem. Around the world, research conclusively shows that women are at least as likely as men to engage in partner abuse.[1]

In recent years, several countries have passed laws designed to stop partner abuse. One of the major reasons these laws have failed to stop domestic violence is because they have not provided needed services to female abusers.

In addition, these laws have resulted in widespread civil rights violations of persons falsely accused of abuse. These are some examples:

· In Australia the federal government has run advertising campaigns that falsely portray only men as perpetrators. Refuge (shelter) services are provided exclusively for women. Anger management services are available for men, yet there are none for violent women. One Auditor General report found that only 9% of restraining orders that are granted based solely on the assertions of the “victim” are found to be legitimate and continued when the alleged perpetrator is able to give their side of the story.[2] In Tasmania , the Family Violence Act of 2004 defines both economic and emotional abuse as criminal offenses.
· In Canada, the domestic violence laws are systemically applied on a gender discriminatory basis, as a result of federal and local legislation, regulation, and enforcement policies. "This is contrary not only to Section 15 of the Canada's Charter of Rights and Freedoms but to international conventions such as Article 7 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and Articles 2 and 26 of the International Convention on Civil and Political Rights."
· In Germany, the Force Law (“Gewaltschutzgesetz”) allows alleged aggressors to be expelled from their residence for up to 14 days while ignoring the presumption of innocence. Michael Bock, professor of criminology at the University of Mainz, commented that the Gewaltschutzgesetz “gives an effective tool to the hands of mothers who want to separate children from their fathers. ... It is not meant to start a constructive dialog between the parties, but to expropriate, disempower, lock out, and punish men.”
· India enacted its Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act in 2005, which defines domestic “violence” broadly to include any form of physical, emotional, or economic abuse. False allegations of abuse have now become common, resulting in many husbands taking their own lives.[3] The Cruelty Against Women Law “Section 498a” has been widely abused leading to arrests of innocent elders and women. The Indian Supreme Court has termed this as “legal terrorism.”[4]
· In Mexico, the domestic violence law came into effect in February of this year. Under the law, men found guilty of being jealous or even sexual indifferent to their wives could face up to five years in prison.[5]
· New Zealand passed its Domestic Violence Act in 1996. As a result, according to Casandra Hewitt-Reid, “it is possible for a perfectly innocent man, who has done nothing outside the law, to be sent to prison on one person’s unsubstantiated word.”[6] Recently, two top researchers accused the New Zealand Families Commission of “ideologically driven” bias in its portrayal of domestic violence.[7]
· Spain passed its Integral Law on Gender Violence in 2004. Recently the Dean Judge of Barcelona Maria Sanahuja criticized the Law, saying it has brought about the “massive detention of men for scarcely any reason” which she condemns as “a repugnant violation of fundamental rights.”[8] Following implementation of the law, the number of intimate partner homicides of both men and women increased.[9]

It has come to our attention that consideration is being given to an “International Violence Against Women Act.” This bill is based on a flawed World Health Organization survey that neglected to survey men and therefore failed to reveal the extent of female violence. Based on descriptions of I-VAWA, [10] we believe that passage of this bill would not only fail to stop partner abuse, it would also inflict serious and lasting harm to families and children around the world.

We, the undersigned organizations throughout the world, strongly urge you to speak against the International Violence Against Women Act.

Signed,

Australia:
Tony Miller
Dads in Distress, Inc.

James Adams
Fathers-4-Equality-Australia

Brett KessnerMen’s Confraternity

Sue Price
Men’s Rights Agency

Edward Dabrowski
Shared Parenting Council of Australia

Canada:
Georges Dupuy
Coalition pour la Défense des Droits des Hommes du Québec

Earl Silverman
Family of Men

Kris Titus
Fathers-4-Justice Canada

Daniel Laforest
Fathers-4-Justice Québec

Brian Jenkins
Fathers Are Capable Too: Parenting Association

Lise Bilodeau
L’Action des Nouvelles Conjointes du Québec

Jean-Claude Boucher
L'après-Rupture, Inc.

Brian Johnson
Regina Shared Parenting Network

John F. Smith
World Father’s Union

Czech Republic:
Eduard Bakalar
Consultancy for Divorcing Parents with Children

Jiri Vodicka
PVVP - Real Equality

Jiri Solc
Cesky Svaz Muzu

Lubos Patera
Spravedlnost Detem

Germany:
Dietmar Albers
DAS Familienrecht

Dr. Eugen Maus
MANNdat e.V.

India:
B.S. Saraswathi
Asha Kiran

P.R.Gokul Protect Indian Family Foundation

Uma Challa
Save Indian Family Foundation

Ireland:
Mary T. Cleary
AMEN – Abused Men

Nora Bennis
Mothers At Home

Roger Eldridge National Men’s Council of Ireland

Netherlands:
Ad Verdiesen
DivorcedDads/Family4 Justice-Netherlands

Th. M. Nieuwenhuizen Netherlands Foundation for Parents without Access

New Zealand:
Jim Bailey
Hands on Equal Parents

John Potter
Masculinist Evolution New Zealand

Spain:
Antonio Luengo
Asociacion para el Estudio del Maltrato y el Abuso

Antonio Javier Morcillo y Martínez
Grupo de Estudios - Padres e Hijos

United Kingdom:
Erin Pizzey
International Founder of Refuges (Shelters) for Victims of Domestic Violence

John Bannon
Familieslink

Artur J. N. Oborski
Families Against Rough Treatment

David Hughes
ManKind Initiative

Anne Harris
St. Neots Abuse Project (SNAP)







[1] www.mediaradar.org/international_dating_violence_study_results.php
[2] www.audit.wa.gov.au/reports/report2002_05.html
[3] http://suicidenoteofhusband.blogspot.com/
[4] www.498a.org/contents/judgements/SupremeCourtJudgement_LegalTerrorism.pdf
[5] http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=54439
[6] http://nzmera.orcon.net.nz/femfasci.html .
[7] http://subs.nzherald.co.nz/section/1/story.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10410452
[8] www.mediaradar.org/barcelonaJudgeCriticizesGenderViolenceLaw.php
[9] http://www.mir.es/MIR/Publicaciones/catalogo/anuarios/anuarios05/anuario2005.pdf
[10] www.endabuse.org/programs/printable/display.php3?NewsFlashID=771

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

498a is eroding country's resources and stopping the nation's progress.

--
SC called misuse of 498a Legal Terrorism (19/7/2005)

Monday, March 12, 2007

Please Note : A copy of this mail message is being marked (or will be marked) to :-

1 Hounrable Prime Minister of India.
2 Hounrable President Of India.
3 Hounrable Ministers and Members of parliament

Sir / Madam

As per NCW proposal and fake statistics; our government made laws like Dowry law and Domestic violence Act;after complaining against her husband or in-laws to the police a woman can continue to live in her marital home with safety or dignity.

Most of these cases ended in Divorce
who will take back such women once husband and in laws get arrested ?
How many 498A FIR solved so called women problems ?

If these laws are not serve the purpose then, what is the use of such laws...?
these laws are made to get grant to these women organisations and used as vote banks than none of the women get help from these laws.

Thats why they are proposing domestic violence Act than Domestic harmony Act.

These are all NCWs legal Terrorist Activities and thier aim is destruction of Indian Society.

For: http://mynation.net

Sir / Madam
I found 2 meanings for the word [commission] which refers to National Commission for Women.
1).A special group delegated to consider some matter
2).A fee for services rendered based on a percentage of an amount received or collected or agreed to be paid (as distinguished from a salary)
I do not think NCW is working as per as its goal. it is working for commission, on each and every complaint women file against her husband family.
If NCW is not working on such commission, then why NCW is supporting Adultrous women
why they provoke / support women who file False 498A / Dv Act. ?
Why NCW is not making gender balanced laws.
if NCW is special group to help women then why Husband(MAN) mothers complainst are not treated as equal as wife (women) mother. was it thier SIN to gave birth to Boy child ?
Conclusion: so NCW is working on Commission, it get comission for each and every complaint they receive.
its is not a comission, which work for women.

CC:President of India
CC:NCW
CC:News Media
CC:Save Indian Society.
For:
http://mynation.net/


Indian
For: MyNation
Dv Act
Save Indian Society


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Saturday, January 27, 2007

This is a Report based on 5 years Research and Study on dowry Prohibition act, its use and misuse.This Reasearch conducted by our own Experts of MyNation for Save Indian society,and not funded by any gender biased organisations. We studied 1500 Plus Families, these are feed backs from them and from the reports published by media.

What is IPC-498a ? Cognizable: " The accused can be arrested and jailed without warrant or investigation Non-Bailable : "The accused must appear in the court to request bail Non-Compoundable : " The complaint cannot be withdrawn by the petitioner The accused are guilty with women one word, and the burden is on the accused to prove innocence in the courts When an FIR under IPC section 498A (498a) is registered, the accused are automatically arrested and jailed without investigation. The Supreme Court of India has ruled several times that arrest should be an exception, and not a compulsory.

Why is there no penalty for disobeying the Supreme Court's orders? Is it not mental cruelty to subject a person to arrest without investigation or reasonable cause? As per our Study, we found out that, it is custom in india to give support to bride in the form of gold and valuables to support her future life with her husband, as husband take home his wifes Fathers burdon, as family of girl call themself. as long as there are no Problems/cracks in marriage, all goes smoothly.As it is there are problems in every marriage, and olden days women used to manage these silly things in her marriage, but todays modern women is not ready to compromise even pretty issues.

Shoba [Name Changed] says dowry is not an issue, ours was love cum arranged marriage, i know my fathers capacity,and how much he can give, and after marrieage there is not chance takeing any money, so i only told my Husband,that he can take.we happy with that,it helped us to build our Family.we should not take Stridhan as dowry. When we get marry, to make new house, start family we need money,from girl side her father should provide to start family,and man should not demand more than what girls family offer.

Says Priya[Name changed] We are not talking about the dowry deaths or physical injury cases but about dowry harassment cases that require no evidence and can be filed just based on a single word, complaint by the wife. With an estimated 50,000 such accusations per year and an average of 3 members of the husband's family implicated in each of these 498a cases, about 150,000 people are directly affected by these false accusations.

Latest Statistics Published on IBN-CNN. *In 2004, 58,319 dowry cases were registered *1,34,757 men were arrested *47,828 cases have reached the chargesheet stage *10,491 dowry cases were not chargesheeted as they were based on frivolous ground. *However, 5,739 men have been convicted but more than four times that number have been acquitted (24,127) The controversial section not only covers dowry, but a wide spectrum of incidents including cruelty, causing injury and danger to mental or physical health. [Source: http://www.ibnlive.com/news/tortured-hubbies-victims-of-498a/27446-3.html] as on June 30 2005 are those under sections 498 and 498(A). In the first six months this year, 3801 new cases under just these two sections were instituted. Thanks to the awareness levels among women, many more are approaching the courts today than before. Consider this against the number of cases that are disposed. They are only 2432 cases. Of them, only 164 cases led to convictions. 1449 cases ended in acquittal with the aggrieved women considering further appeals. [source :http://www.indianexpress.com/res/web/pIe/full_story.php?content_id=79802]

This poorly formulated law is inviting unscrupulous women to file false cases, and causing the imprisonment of innocent husband and his Family without investigation. These innocent people undergo stigmatization and hardship even before a trial in the court of law which leads to emotional, physical and financial burdon. Some of the falsely accused have committed suicide after being jailed, unable to bear the social consequences. Result of False Accusation. As per Recent Report From Ahmedabad, Rajesh hasmukh Desai commited suicide, He was charged with 498A Falsly.If a women dies in any circumtenses, Authority by default Police will arrest man, but in this case police did not took any action nor they questioned his wife, nor took any action.

A study by Professor K. Nagaraj, senior economist at the Madras Institute of Development Studies (MIDS) The distribution of suicides by marital status reveals some interesting patterns. The rates do not vary much between the sexes for the never married. Among those currently married, while the rate for males is about 17 per 100,000 persons, the rate for females is 11.4 per 100,000. Among those widowed, while the rate for males is 21 per 100,000 persons, the rate for females is also significantly lower, at 6.6 per 100,000. However, among divorced males the suicide rate is 164 per 100,000 persons, but even in this class, among females the rate is only 63 per 100,000. While the suicide rate for separated men is about 167, for females it is only 41 per 100,000 persons. [Source: http://www.hinduonnet.com/fline/fl1821/18210960.htm] Despite the recommendations of the Supreme Court of India and Justice Malimath Committee that the legislative arm should modify the laws such that the innocent are protected, the suggested amendment to the law has been largely ignored.

Unconstrained, this social evil is threating the foundaton of the Indian Family system. Why do people misuse IPC 498a? Legal Extortion: " When marriage is on the brink of Divorce, she find no other weapon to harass husband than 498A Pre/extra marital Affairs :" She marries to satisfy her parents, without disclosing her fast,when husband find out she has no option than file dowry case to blackmail him,same applies to extra marital affairs too. Domination :" Wife wants the husband to abandon his parents and siblings, and have total control over his finances and social behavior, including his life-style Custody - Deny the father and his family access to their child(ren). Fraudulent Marriages - Many time girls family will not disclose actual facts of thier daughter,that leads to divorce,then legal extortion follows. In-Laws - When modern women is unable to adjust with her In Laws, to dominate her husband and make him dance as she says she goes for dowry case. Consider a person who works extremely hard to make his career. Then he marry a wolf who drags him to court. There he is bound to loose all dignity, children custody and above all 50% of his income. He is forced out of family, money and all. Using his money all along wolf teaches to the child that father was bad. Despite feeding the child on Fathers' money. He has nothing to look at when he grows old. And Indian judicial system is just not meant for any justice. This is nothing but sure cruelty. Extreme disastor. And unending mental trauma.

Apart from this I've seen men bieng ditched by various girls before marriage. In cities it is common that girl have many boyfriends. And they choose the richest among them for marriage. Rest are ditched. And few eaker among them commit suicide. Says Amit Agarwal a Victim of 498A. Nearly five crore married women in India are victims of domestic violence (DV). Only 0.1 percent (1 out of 1000 DV cases) of these are being reported. Out of 100 cases that are ordered for investigation under 498A, only in 2 cases the accused get convicted.

People generally use this law to facilitate a divorce. And often, it is the lawyers who advise the women to implicate their in-laws under the provisions of this Act, says Shantosh Singh, chairperson of Women Welfare Counseling Cell. Often, the number of items given in dowry is inflated to claim a high settlement amount. There are only 10 per cent cases based on truth, and people usually come to us and ask specifically to mention the element of dowry in their divorce petitions, says Amrikh Singh Kalra, advocate at Punjab and Haryana High Court. Women mis(using) laws to get even ? NEW DELHI, Oct 18 (PTI) "Laws against violence at home may or may not have come to the rescue of battered women, but some of them have been accused of abusing them to get an easy divorce or settle other little domestic disputes. [Souce:http://www.tribuneindia.com/1999/99oct19/nation.htm#7 ] According to the available statistical information from the National Crime Records Bureau and information available from NGOs working with victims of violence, there is a general tendency to avoid seeking redressal among the victims of domestic violence. However, when a victim of domestic violence seeks help from any of the agencies, be it family, friends, NGOs, or lawyers, before registering a complaint, at each stage she is asked to reconcile the matter or to put up with the situation. Reconciliation in 498A cases takes place at every stage including the police station, Crime Against Women Cells and courts. We found that in five cases filed under Section 498A the parties settled the matter after agreeing on maintenance and divorce. In a majority of the cases before a victim filed the complaint under Section 498A, the minimum period she suffered physical and mental torture, was for about three years. The trial process is quite lengthy and the proportion of pending cases is quiet high (out of the 40 cases based on victims' interviews which went for trial in court, 28 cases are still pending). In the cases tracked, the normal trial period was between five to ten years. " It was found that it was difficult to prove physical and mental torture. In all the eight cases in which the accused were acquitted, the victims were found to have suffered physical and mental torture, but as there was not enough evidence to prove torture, the accused were let off. The cases where the accused were convicted had been filed under Section 498A along with section 304B and 302, which are applicable after the death of the victim. There were no convictions in any of the cases registered only under Section 498A. It has been found that out of 30 cases there is not a single case where the accused has been convicted only under Section 498A. The accused have been acquitted (11 cases) by the court where the prosecutor failed to provide evidentiary proof of cruelty, mainly mental, inflicted on the victim as provided under Section 498A IPC.

The judicial authorities of India, in number of landmark judgments, have taken a serious view of the growing tendency to falsely implicate innocent members of the husband's family in dowry cases. Describing misuse of IPC-498a law as legal terrorism, the Supreme Court said no one could be allowed to unleash frivolous proceedings on this count as the provisions of Section 498a is intended to be used a shield not as an assassin's weapon. The stringent dowry laws, meant to deter dowry-seekers, are being increasingly misused by the very people they are meant to protect. The last three years have seen a steep rise in the number of cases of harassment for dowry. [Source: http://cities.expressindia.com/fullstory.php?newsid=170603.] Only one out of six dowry complaints genuine [ source : http://www.tribuneindia.com/2004/20041013/cth1.htm] Most of the time its burgaining tool for women when husband finds her Infidelity. adulterous women were responsible for divorces in every 3rd case. [Source :http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/181_1551427,000600010004.htm]

There are many heart-rending stories of innocent families being arrested without investigation and put in judicial custody. While IPC 498a is supposed to be a law to protect women, ironically it harms many more women. For every male accused of IPC 498a, there is at least one woman (his mother or sister) who is implicated in a crime that never occurred or they never stayed together. If there are more women in the family they too are accused irrespective of their age, health condition, marital status or their physical proximity to the complainant. There are many Reports, married sisters of husband,even they are pregnent or with small baby in hands are jailed without any investigations.or The entire family is ruthlessly arrested without investigation and there are no words to describe the financial hardship and emotional trauma that they have to endure. Children suffer whether they are jailed along with their mothers or are separated from them during that time. Another striking feature of these victim stories is that the complainants, in collaboration with the police make sure that the arrests are strategically planned to harass and demoralize the accused, to make them succumb to the fear of being imprisoned and to extract huge amounts of money thereafter.

Here is list of few Victims are harassed for many years,without rays of hope to get Justice. http://mynation.net/db. Everyone knows there are loopholes in 498A, and media reports, Judges warn and Politician admit Openly; An offence has been committed by the accused upon the sole testimony of the woman alleging abuse. Given that lying in court has never been taken seriously enough to invoke punishment, laws which presume guilt even before the trial has begun are prone to great misuse. 98% misuse is ok Says Minister Renuka chowdrey [Source : http://www.ibnlive.com/news/ill-empower-women-chowdhury/26051-3-0.html] Even there is 98% misuse, whay not there is any Change....? Because it is not only against husband but his whole Family. The Western funded Supporter of this law, determined to ruin family system of India and sabotage Indian Society. For : http://mynation.net Source : http://mynation.net/498a.study-report.htm

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Invitation for seminar on Law and Justice

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Dear Sir(s)/Madam(s)

Please Note : A copy of this invitation message is being marked (or will be

marked) to :-

1 Honb'le Prime Minister of India.

2 Honb'le President Of India.

3 Honb'le Ministers and Members of parliament

4 Save Indian Family Foundation (http://www.saveindianfamily.org ) - The

biggest Self help group In India)

5 Save Indian Society (http://www.mynation.net)

6 Dowry Law Misuse Forum NRI (http://www.498a.org/ )

5 Police officers of india

6 News agencies and media agencies

7 NGO's like Asha Kiran (http://asha-kiran.org/)

8 Purushakk

9 Protect Indian Family (http://protectindianfamily.org/)

10 National Commission of Women (NCW) and related organisations and

NGO's.

11 Various activists who are opposing the MISUSE of LAWS by women.

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SEMINAR ON LAW & JUSTICE – THE DIFFERENCE

(CONTEMPLATING THE IMPACT OF FAMILY LAWS (IPC 498A & DV ACT 2006) ON INDIAN SOCIETY)

It is hard to disagree that woman in India need protection and guard against any kind of possible oppression and atrocity. It also can not be doubted that during last few decades of twentieth century the women has been subjected to acute atrocities, primarily because of dowry menace.

Few strict laws like section 498A of IPC were enacted to take care of the situation but in recent years it has been observed that outcome of these laws in not, what was intended while their creation. Innocents are being implicated by educated and resourceful wives of metro cities, while real culprits are walking away freely even after brutal torture of helpless by them.

Misuse of dowry and woman harassment laws has now become a well recognized problem in India. These laws are inhumane as they do not allow innocent accused person to speak for their defense and increasing number of guiltless elder parents, sisters are being victimized and arrested by its misuse. The wicked implementation of these laws has forced rational community to believe that law and justice need not to be synonyms always.

Recently, it has also been observed by various responsible agencies and Indian Judiciary that these laws are proving to be highly injurious for the Indian society. WHO identified these laws as emerging reason for elder abuse in India while the Honb'le Supreme Court had to use words "Legal Terrorism" in reference to these laws. Their implementation in present format is constantly ruining the family harmony of our society and if not controlled, these laws have the enormous potential to shatter marital and family stability in years to come by.

Unfortunately, in spite of this alarming situation, very little help is available for the innocents who are being victimized through these laws. In cities like Delhi, one can find over a hundred organizations claiming to be fighting for women through monitory support from government but none for the innocents and elders, falsely implicated through these laws. Even after repeated recommendations from Judiciary, the politicians have refused to amend the laws, as such reforms may impact their vote bank equation adversely.

In order to escalate and analyze this serious issue, a seminar is being organized in New Delhi by 'Save Family Forum', where knowledgeable dignitaries from Judiciary, Police, Social Work and Politics are expected to comment on the situation and possible remedy. The details of seminar as follows:

Please see the attachment for venue and other details

Contact Persons: Ashish Mukhi – 9911119113, Gurdarshan Singh – 9810371802,

Swarup: - 9810611534

Thanking You.


--
Sachit Dalal
My favourite websites :
www.saveindianfamily.org ;
www.mynation.net
Read latest News at www.mynation.net/mynews

Disclaimer : These are my personal views. Your views could be different. I do not hold myself liable for any consequences, legal or otherwise, arising out of use of any such information.