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Thursday, September 13, 2007


Hallmark & SIF Bringing out Men's Day Cards: An email to discuss the possible concepts

Dear Ms.Aruna,

As discussed in our telecon I am attaching a Picture of father & daughter , which appealed to many us, in our group, facing alienation from our kids. This is in fact the our main page picture at one of our sub groups in the SIF Network; Save Indian Child : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SaveIndianChild

I myself have not seen my eldest daughter(I have a newborn now, from my remarriage) since she was 1 month old, and for 5 years now I haven't seen or talked to her, or rather I have been denied that right, to put briefly.

But as discussed this bond of a father and daughter/child cannot be the sole concept, which would paint the entire picture with respect to the Men's day(anyway its taken care by exclusive "fathers day", but the question remains ....what happens to the segment "alienated fathers" do they deserve a separate day!? :), may be some day we will talk about this too, for now I am linking you to an article about our cause, going to be featured in a newsletter by a social organisation, see the bottom of this post).

But somehow we need to put elements of this aspect, of a man, in the cards we are now trying to conjure up.

As I mentioned, lets have images where Men are putting in their best for the family, for the Nation, for the causes and values which they get ready to die for. So that people sit and realise that ... yes.... this guy need to be hugged with a card, as mark of love and recognition for all the thankless efforts he has been putting in without even knowing to whether to expect some love at least in return or not!. When he puts his body in the line of fire, when he jumps into the torrent of a river without even blinking an eye to save a dear one, when he pulls a rickshaw under scorching sun gasping for air in plumes of noxious fumes and returns home tired, but with a toy for his children and love for his wife.... the ideas are endless, but how to put it subtly and still project the essence of this thankless existence, is what you guys in the creative side has been doing the best!.

If my messages are getting a bit emotional, I am sorry, its since I am getting emotional, since I , along with hundreds in our group(including fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, sisters, etc.), have been short changed for love and respect, time and again, from among our kith and kin. Its not the problem with the person I am/we are up against, its the problem with the centuries or millenniums of social conditioning , which has been instrumental in programming everyone in our society to neglect/discredit men as some one who all the time needs and yearns for some expression of love from others, in the bottom of his heart!(moot point: why is a man not supposed to cry, is he not an emotional being, doesn't his tear glands have a mandate to cry out of emotion!).

Lets say it with cards, thank you my man, we all love you...... to brothers, sons, fathers, nephews, grandsons, great grandsons......Some such appropriately worded and heart-felt expressions(embellished by suitable Pictures and "Verbalised Hugs") which you and your creative team can make in a jiffy, but something which I can only get emotionally eloquent about!.

Every body needs to be touched deep inside, yes.... and....not just non-males :).
Lets make it good, lets do it.

Warm Regards,

Gokul - http://gokul.go.to/ , http://www.pifngo.info/ (Director),09895697372(at Kerala now, till Mid September), 9821414336(Mumbai)(Read and participate at http://www.siftimes.com/ (Editor), and at: http://siftimes.com/blog )

PS: Read on about our Save Indian Family scope, awareness and other objectives......... at: http://at498a.blogspot.com/2007/09/sif-awareness-article-for-newsletter-of.html

11 comments:

amitabh said...

There has been instances where I was misunderstood as a "Woman Hater" by the Hallmark people, when I met them... But when I insisted that they look into you-tube and our websites... they understood the cause and the depth of the cause....
... They realised that it is really a predator of the society...
...The best part is, initially they were not that convinced with the Men's Day Idea, but when they saw and peeped into SIF.org and related websites, they were more than willing to promote Men's Day across teh country....
.. of course lot of talking was required and I even had to connect to Gokul on a speaker phone for the finale...

...The mail sent by Gokul was the ultimate convincing arrow...

Cheers!!!

Regards
Amitabh

CruiserDeep said...

UK guy, I know you would be visiting here very soon, so........at least give me your email/chat id, by private email to me.

I just would like to chat with u on how to utilise your initiatives a bit more steamlined to the groups projects on the cards, you have a great amount of drive, really commendable.

So chat/write to me at drmura (at) hotmail (dot) com or gokul_p_r (at) yahoo (dot) com

CruiserDeep said...

Amit, Lets not count the chicken until the eggs hatch, but yes we should celebrate each of our brothers/members initiatives so that every one gets charged enough to collectively move heaven and earth, since that’s possible if we really chose to and work for it.

Lets mark a new epoch in societal conditioning, rectifying the old and anachronistic paradigms and stereotypes therein.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I have taken these cases to heart after some personal experiences which are not over yet. While seeing my case working on the side, I am trying my best to give as much information / comments as possible to keep all this alive. I have loved India and have been there many times. Now I don’t feel that I am safe there even though I have done nothing wrong. The team work there is big enough to destroy a honest man's life and send him to gutter. I am coming close to contacting you to give more information. But perhaps it might be better to talk on phone. Please give me some time. I am also trying to see the connection between Nishat Kumar, Cruiserdeep, 498A Crusader, Satya, Jinesh Zaveri, Gokul etc. I have placed comments at various blogs organised by these connections. These people seem to be the ones fighting for this cause. I was not born in India and so it is taking me time to get used to all this. I am not against ladies either. This whole set up being misused is what I worry about for the good future of Indian husband–wife relationships. UK Guy

Anand said...

There is no denying that dowry abuse is prevalent and is a real issue. But these days, the flip side of the coin is coming forth. These same dowry laws that were intended to protect the victimized are being used as a means of "Getting Even". They are making a mockery of the real victims.

It is sad that for these types of cases, the accused is presumed guilty until proven innocent. This needs to change and I think SIF is on the right track, disseminating information and providing a rallying platform for husbands who have been accused and condemned without trial in society and in the media. Go SIF... Anand

CruiserDeep said...

Uk Guy,

I thought my comment of yesterdays had appeared, but its not here anymore, some tech glitch as usual!.

I was mentioning in that: Cruiserdeep, Gokul, drmura (at) hotmail(as used in SIF main yahoogroup) are all Me, 498a_crusader is Rudolph Dsouza, Gulf, Jinesh and me are from Mumbai(bombay), Satya is in US, so please do feel free to get in touch with us, i think we together have some thing in common- Passion!

So lets not waste that resource by not synching our efforts, lets join forces and do our best to get rid of the menace- We will prevail, no doubt about it, since truth has a charateristic of prevailing over any odds!.

Anonymous said...

Where money buys the legal system, these sort of things will keep happening. The other day a guy was telling me that to survive in India, you need to be a gunda or have lots of money. And that is not the majotity in India. The straight forward people and the poor form the majority and they suffer. And many of the others seem to be in power and they rule. In pakistan they overthrow such government.....and that is also not the answer. But one such overthrow in Indai will open up some people's brains and I am sorry to say that finally. Peace - UK

Anonymous said...

Hi cruiserdeep

Thank you for the additional information. I am in the middle of sorting out my problems at the moment. So would not be placing many comments and suggestions here at the moment. It will be nice to participate bit more at a later date when I manage to sort out what I am doing at the moment. Plus I can acquire more information also as time goes. UK Guy

Anonymous said...

“WITHOUT PREJUDICE”

“INDIAN PENAL CODE 498A AND DV LAW

This Penal code 498A and DV law have been brought in too quickly to slow down any problems men might give to women. Basically it is like a dog chain on a man’s neck after he gets married.

As we hear all the time, there is a caste system existing in India and there are people who are underpaid. So as such, these people must be suffering. And as I understand, these people are in thousands. So if a law similar to Indian Penal Code 498A is introduced for these people to use (or shall I say misuse?), then what will happen to the Indian economy. Can a low caste person and can an underpaid person walk into any police station and complain and get the employer etc arrested? Surely India can collapse for a while in such circumstances as the number of people suffering seems to be very high. What if there is an uprising from this majority? The whole world will be in support of these sufferers. Why the politicians are waiting for such a time to come?

By no means I am trying to say that such one sided Penal Code 498A type laws are a useful tool. Much thought is needed for the wording of such laws. We are talking about 2007.

In real terms there are points which go against ladies. Firstly having people arrest after false complaints and then demand for money after false complaints can all be tackled as there are rules and regulations for all that. It appears that some lawyers find a quick way by encouraging men to give money to ladies to finish the cases. For arranging this, a lawyer can also get a fair share from the men. This cant be right.

Once again, by no means I am trying to say that such one sided Penal Code 498A type laws are a useful tool. Much thought is needed for the wording of such laws. We are talking about 2007.”

Peace – UK

Anonymous said...

I READ THE MESSAGE AT THE BOTTOM AT THIS LINK:

http://498a.wordpress.com/2007/09/19/sanjeev-gupta-delhidelhi/#comment-4870

I AM NOT SURE IF HE IS OUR NISHANT FROM THIS LINK AND THE ONE WHO WORKS ALONG SIDE CRUISERDEEP. WILL BE NICE TO KNOW THIS. GOOD WISHES TO HIM AS HE SEEMS TO HAVE FOUND THE HAPPINESS GOD HAS PASSED HIS WAY. Peace - UK

Anonymous Says:
September 21st, 2007 at 7:21 am
> > > Dear members,
> > >
> > > I have received a lot of knowledge related to marriage problems
> > from
> > > sharing of cases in this group and in the local open meetings.
> SIF
> > > movement is a real blessing in disguise to most of SIF members
> who
> > > take it seriously. I am in a different phase now, as my wife and
> > me
> > > are back again in July 2007, after 3 years of separation. For
> SIF
> > > movement, I am trying to find out reasons that why any wife
> would
> > > escalate the personal matters to that level when she only needed
> to see her husband and talk out the things with him.
> Because
> > of
> > > my reunion with my wife Sarita, I have that opportunity to
> discuss
> > > many issues that why she went on to take that decision to file a
> > > false 498A case against me and my parents. I am studying its
> > related
> > > issues and planning to write a Blog on it sometime.
> > >
> > > It is somewhat like rewinding back the whole of case history,
> for
> > > that reason only that we both shall not commit intentionally or
> > > unintentionally the same old mistakes again that were committed
> > > earlier. It is after separation of more than 3 years that we are
> > > living together and I, my parents, my wife and kid are happy to
> > > enjoy the blessings of all of my well-wishers. I can’t say more,
> > but
> > > so far we are happy with our reunion decision, that includes my
> > > parents and her parents. I have uploaded our recent picture in
> the
> > > Photo Section of yahoo group, its link:
> > >
> http://ph.groups. yahoo.com/ group/saveindian family/photos/ view/dc21?
> > > b=1
> > >
> > > I and my wife Sarita would be glad to help other victims who
> want
> > > any advice or help. My wife is in process of understanding the
> > other
> > > side of the 498A story and she is talking to victims who call
> me.
> > > Most of them are not related to internet groups, as they get my
> > > number from Posters at Jaipur. I remember once I was speaking to
> a
> > > victim when she heard me saying that he should take divorce,
> then
> > > she asked me to call that husband again and spoke to him for
> > around
> > > half hour to know his case details, and told him that she would
> be
> > > ready to talk or meet his wife for any reconciliation and
> > counseling
> > > discussions. May be, she could be of help in those 498A cases
> > where
> > > hope of reunion is still there.
> > >
> > > The reason why I am writing all this is to give some hope to
> those
> > > guys who think that what would happen if they would reunite with
> > > their wives. There are unlimited apprehensions, and that is all
> > > normal. I am also in the process of coming back to normal happy
> > > married life and that takes a lot of clearing up the doubts and
> > > misunderstandings. Every case is different, and especially these
> > > 498A cases are very unique in their own way, where the
> > personality,
> > > mentality and the feelings too get involved. So I believe that
> in
> > > our group, some cases could be there where the husband and wife
> > > could reunite again happily and I would be really lucky and glad
> > to
> > > help those interesting guys to get reunited with their wives and
> > > kids. Such victims can contact me on email or phone.
> > >
> > > Regards,
> > > Nishant Kumar
> > > Cell: 09352736000

CruiserDeep said...

Yes he is the same Nishant, from Jaipur. Let there be peace.. :)