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Sunday, August 13, 2006

Mumbai Meeting Pre-release summary

Summary and salient milestones of the Mumbai meet will be posted soon here in this post itself, so check back by tomorrow Evening by 5 P.M to read more at this same link (will be adding those details as a link here, in this same post itself).

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, and then they fight you, then you win- Mahatma Gandhi.

SIF-Mumbai as a group was in the first two stages as mentioned above, from the time we started as a small group around 2 years back. Examples: 1) Times and Hindustan Times and various other media who we had requested for putting a small ‘news item’ announcing about the Mumbai seminar + meeting in their respective "Today's Events" section, totally ignored us (and may have laughed at our request from the comfort of their offices) –Result, No news came in the dailies (except in one Marathi paper, thanks to a dedicated member’s efforts). 2) When a member tried to get the meeting covered, by using his personal contacts with a reporter in a TV channel, he was told that the TV channel won't be interested in reporting such an event, since they will be fearing an onslaught of rebuke slander from women’s lobby- may be the guys was timid and didn’t even check with his Channel in the first place, but this is not an isolated reaction towards a group of harassed men in media

But despite the apathy from media, the Mumbai Meeting was a worthwhile effort, we could 1) Get volunteers for forming and running an NGO- 20 odd willing members by the show-of-hands way. We will decide on the structure(this would either have a prominent women presence, or an “all woman wing”, all this will be brainstormed when the volunteers meet or chat on a later date) and procedures to actually commission this NGO when we meet together in a small group of volunteers(out of the 20 members who have showed their willingness) 2) Could get a crowd of 40 plus(and a few representatives of the media like All India Radio, Asian Age and UNA) for the first time in a meeting, this should be enough to set the ball rolling in the times to come.


Summary will be Posted here soon, as mentioned before. But my assessment about the first issue to be addressed, to get SIF-mumbai members ‘self-enabled’, is that they need to be brought to a more calm and composed state of mind(since many were appearing very stressed, wary, dejected and harried, in their speech and general outlook, etc.).

So I would request the motivational and mind control experts in our group to post articles and other resources , which will help our members to acquire a better and positive frame of mind, so that they can actually think clear and solve their issues with a problem-solving approach. If anyone deoesn’t have this attitude, and just starts to run from pillar to post, out of frustration & pulling their own hair out while doing so, it’s a tell tale sign of impending failure- “Jo Dar gaya, who Mar gaya” as Gabbar singh said years back… its so true.

Friends, this is the only issue u need to consciously address, and after you address this issue of unnecessary and worthless fear and anxiety, you can have a smooth cruise with your legal issues(since we have all the data you would need to fight any possible 498a scenario- we, in SIF, have collective wisdom of more than 1000 man days in Law related to 498a/dowry cases, considering at least 20-30 members(at any give day) browsing the net and acquiring knowledge from other legal sources about how to fight misuse of 498a cases, for an average of 1 hour for 2-3 years till now(After SIF yahoogroup was formed). If you tap into to the collective wisdom of SIF group and then use your own judgment and ratify the emerging ideas with your lawyer, I don’t know why anything would go wrong.

But for all this a composed frame of mind is essential, and you need to control ur mind from being ruthless on yourselves, draining a lot of positive energy out of your system- I say this, because this is the major aspect I always find lacking in any new victim(just as I was 3 years back- but I had strong emotional support from my parents which bailed me out from depression and negativity quick enough- I hope the same for all of you).

For alleviating this lacuna in your confidence, we need to organize more meetings which first addresses stress and mind control techniques(like Yoga, morning/evening walks, or just even shopping(works better than any, for some J ), do whatever you get happiness and peace from, but just don’t stay depressed and stressful- since this negativity hampers your inherent ability to think and hence defend or stand up for your rights.

So pick up your wits and start making amends, with your own mind first.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
How an NRI in fear of arrest due to misuse of 498A going to attend any meeting in India in first place? Will be like placing the head in the lion's mouth!!! So have such meetings in UK and USA also where people feel many victims are or give some sort of guarantee for NRI's return after the meeting to attend to his duties back in UK and USA. This matter is as bad as that and I am sorry to say this in 2006. With all due respect for India but NRI's life is also valuable. Thanx. UK guy.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
NRI lost interest and respect for the place when recently got into this trap. Previously was visiting India regularly and also contrubuted at places of need. Totally innocent but now even scared to place information here with name and address.....simply because you never know what can happen. My life is valued by me and dont want it ruined by some thugs when such law exists in India. Can we please have more Gandhis from the politicians of India? Gandhi opened this employment.....that is Official Indian Politics. So let us give something in return to HIM please. UK Guy.

Sat Nov 04, 02:20:55 AM 2006


Anonymous said...
Indians

SOME VERY IMPRESSIVE FACTS ABOUT INDIANS IN USA !!!

There are 3.22 Million Indians in America

38% of Doctors in America are Indians.

12% of Scientists in America are Indians.

36% of NASA employees are Indians.

34% of MICROSOFT employees are Indians

28% of IBM employees are Indians

17% of INTEL employees are Indians

13% of XEROX employees are Indians

23% of Indian Community in America is having Green-Card'

Above information from an email

So why they went to USA in the first place?
Why so many more still want to go to USA and UK in 2006?
WAKE UP INDIA.

Sat Nov 04, 02:21:34 AM 2006


Anonymous said...
Why they left India?..... Because many of them might be children of the leaders and the rich in India and prefer to live in the west.

Sat Nov 04, 02:21:56 AM 2006


Anonymous said...
Reading all this about the misuse of law and in particular misuse of 498A, I have a suggestion for NRI. Go to India for a holiday. Like now, don’t get involved with politics and business there in India. By now after many years abroad, you have got this title of being a NRI. Most likely you are born abroad. So be a NRI. They used to say when you marry a lady, the 2 families also get married. The problems get sorted out by the 2 families. But remember now…..REMEMBER…..NRI guy not only marries an Indian lady from India but also marries the India police, who are the first ones to arrest you before you are found guilty. Why we blame the law? The law is there. The people who put the law in place are the ones to take the responsibility. So why marry a lady from India in the first place? There are plenty of Indian ladies abroad also where you now live. The Indian lady from India will find it difficult to adjust to the life abroad…..in particular UK and then will blame you and they have the additional police force in India who they can rely on to lock you up next time you are in India or can call you to India by arresting your family member in India, if you have any there. Why marry one and try to see if she adjusts to the life in UK. Why take this risk as she has the Indian police on her side to even ruin your future visits to India. Be safe where you belong and serve that country. You are a NRI and be a NRI. Yes, visit India, see the place, enjoy the Darshans at religious places, enjoy the food and get out after that, back to where you belong. Sorry India this is happening now after personal experience. I am giving my points only about this one problem in India. It is up to others and India herself to address other issues. UK guy.

Sat Nov 04, 02:22:40 AM 2006

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
UK GUY HAS READ THIS ARTICLE ON INTERNET.....

(KNOWS OF ANOTHER CASE WHERE ANOTHER LADY FROM INDIA HAD COMPLAINED TO THE POLICE ABOUT SIMILAR INCIDENT AND THEN THE POLICE WERE AFTER HER BODY.....NOW THAT LADY IS IN UK). SO GRADUALLY INDIA WILL HAVE MANY DISTURBED LADIES AND SINGLE PARENT CHILDREN. BIG PRICE TO PAY).

Dear Friends,

I am please to blog this on behalf of this 17 Yr Old College going Girl, She Writes

I being a 21st Century Girl doesn’t believe that India is a male dominated country because now-a-days abla’s are sabla’s I mean to say that today’s generation women always want to get something which is new branded and which also has a status symbol that too sitting at home without earning anything. This whole pressure comes on the poor husband who has to listen to his parents, to his in-law, to his boss to his children’s demand too. Irrespective of his demand he has to fulfill his family demand first.

If demand is not fulfilled by him then he has to listen to his wife’s taunts, his children’s frustration to face other problems too. Husbands also have only one person to whom they can talk i.e. to their wife, But dominating nature of wives make them more angry and violent due to which male remove their frustration in form of anger and violence. After that, the spouse or man’s better half do the propaganda of their so called plight without thinking about their husband’s mental status. Thus, adding fuel to fire. They do this with their sure shot and powerful weapon i.e. Tears. Some wives are so great that they directly go to the cops without thinking once about the consequences on their husbands and his family members, Due to which males like (Ram) have to suffer a lot.

This thought of mine can be explained with my personally witnessed experience some days back in my friend’s case. She was genuinely eve teased by some notorious guys in her neighborhood. Her father came to know about this incidence and he called the cops. The guys were taken to question by the police. But to my surprise the police did not even question us at all!!! They took us on face value and the guys were bashed royally by police. And we were not even questioned at all. I could sense the loop hole that I hear many elder married guys stuck in divorce who talks about it, like the one in my neighborhood. Before which I had no whiff about the whole thing.

I asked the police if we could leave and he understood my gesture on face. And he said to us that “You are like our daughters and we have now to be extra cautious about our image too, especially after the rape cases”

And that is where after the NC was lodged I could make out that men are really really vulnerable and women is actually dominating men using men (police) and law to the maximum of their advantage.

No doubt my friends’ grievance was genuine but the statement of the police and the treatment given to the accused at the face value of the whole matter made my conscience prick me to the extent of telling me that thank god I do not have a brother else he could have been victimized and would have been equally vulnerable to this attitude of the police.

“That keeps me pondering on the question that “Is India Really a Male Dominated Country???”


Sneha Kala.
XII Commerce, C-11.
Thakur College

5:51 PM

Anonymous said...

They used to say when you marry a lady, the 2 families also get married. The problems get sorted out by the 2 families. But remember now…..REMEMBER…..NRI guy and and others dont only marry an Indian lady from India but also marries the Indian police, who are the first ones to arrest you before you are found guilty. Why we blame the law? The law is there. The people who put the law in place are the ones to take the responsibility. So why marry an lady from India in the first place

Anonymous said...

Arre...yahin to dhokha kha gaya India..

Anonymous said...

FACTS IN SIMPLE ENGLISH

India is so divided as it is and such laws will only send females to some sector of the men population....eg men police, men lawyers, men judges. As per the law, men are not trusted it seems and most of the people handling the cases are men. This is the place where the same ladies will say yes sir and can end up doing whatever is said to them and will have to keep the mouth shut also, and later realise what real trouble can be.

Let all that happen and then when they don’t have any place to go to, then the lesson will be learnt…..is this what we want to happen to our sisters, wives and mothers? Don’t you think it will be too late by then? Meaning….. where will they complain when harassed by men police, men lawyers, and men judges? These guys may not be your husbands but they will still be men. Will they care for you more than your husbands? Will they truly care for you?

Lot needs to be done to have good population of men police, men lawyers, men judges etc before letting these women go to these men. I say this because men are not trusted as per the law. It is like a case where a woman law maker is sending a poor cow to a lion hoping that the lion is a vegetarian. Note for the law maker (specially the female law maker):- Please first sort out other problems before this creates more problems for the society.

NOW YOU MIGHT BE THINKING:- IS THIS IS WRITTEN BY A MAN OR A WOMAN? THIS IS WRITTEN BY A HUMAN BEING. UK.

Anonymous said...

FROM THIS 498A SECTION AND HOW IT WORKS, IT SEEMS THAT IT IS VERY VERY SAFE FOR AN INDIAN LADY FROM INDIA TO MARRY AN INDIAN POLICE-MAN, INDIAN MAN LAWYER, INDIAN MAN JUDGE. .....ARE THEY ALL PERFECT AND UNTOUCHABLE BY THE LAW???!!! AND IS THE REST OF THE MEN POPULATION UNTOUCHABLE BY THE WOMEN POPULATION???!!! UK PERSON.