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Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Everyone contributes to the ashanti around us, unless we facilitate change around us

Hi All,
Parental interference(it could be either side or even both sides, owing to the lack of understanding with respect to the actual intensity or manner of the conflict between the couple concerned!) either catalyses impending splits and obnoxious behaviour which follows(after the war is announced!) and even legal terrorism once they come to know that there is 'some' trouble between the couple.

Such 'some' trouble kind of situations existed even in earlier times, but they did not definitely crystalise into 'stymie' situations or even evoked extreme actions for either side, since earlier generations had the skill and diplomacy(or command of a head of the joint/united family, which in turn came from the respect this head earned vide the services and dedication rendered to ones family- respect has that way of manifesting, it can never bought or forced, its self-evoking/eliciting... and this is a oft-forgotten truth by modernists, the so called modern men and women), the other members of a joint family would act as vents, counselors, confidantes, sounding boards or whatever the situation of conflict might warrant, and the couple at conflict themselves had some strong value base which seldom let them disrupt the peace of the family.

This kind of "concern for the family" or 'WE" is slowly becoming non existent and its this factor which pushes the so called 'modern' couple who do not have anytime other than thinking about 'I' and 'My'... the value base too have eroded so much that their shell-like self is so brittle that such persons can only think of self-destructive ways to handle a situation of conflict.

Lack of values coupled with self-centeredness does them in... and they do not usually mend their ways even after hard times like a violent divorce which extends to years of negativity and trauma(resulting in profuse loss of peace, spirit, resources, etc., on one side)... these persons run into disruptive situations after disruptive and eroding situations.. finally they are totally 'spent' on their intrinsic goodness, and turn totally negative and starts acting against whoever comes in contact with them and thence the society at large.

Their negative vibes and examples of wrong doing sets off an unfortunate trend in conflict management, and a snowball effect in a definite perimeter around them, especially on the impressionable youngsters who grow up to believe that these are the only ways to handle conflicts.

Unless we try to address and rectify these undercurrents which finally leads to legal terrorism , we would only be getting at the surface of the 'rust' or 'rot', just painting the rusted surface will not ensure that the 'spread' can be stopped, it will surface from time to time, until we address these problem of moral degradation in a macro scale.

Back to basics is one word to describe the cure, while we do what we are currently doing, the touch-up or fire-fighting jobs(by way of fighting legal terrorists on the same token or on a different, but addressing legal terrorism as a piece-meal problem).

Think about this, may you be able to action some solutions around you, starting NOW.
Spread the message too.... Values, Values, and Values. values of honesty, of mutual respect, of Love, or Patience, of sharing, of caring, of courage, of physical endurance and mental serenity, of planting tress and rearing children, of Vasudeva Kudumbakam......


Report: Parents Contribute to Divorce
Posted by: "gorky_maksim"
Tue Dec 23, 2008 9:44 am (PST)
Parents contribute a lot to 498a female's behaviour and attitude.

Now, a Florida based counsellor has written about it and Deccan
Chronicle has reported it.

Till now, we never highlighted this as "No one will digest that
parents can contribute to Marriage break up." My guess shows that in
90% of cases the mother-in-law and father-in-law make the female file

------------ --------- --------

Please do Press Conferences and say that in more than 80% cases in
SIF, the adverse and destructive advice by parents has led to breaking
of marriage and 498a.

Let us build momentum on this Thread.

We had done a press conference in Bangalore just yesterday. So, it may
not work if we do another press conference now.

But, activists in other cities can use this opportunity to show the
real side of "Girl's Parents".

Best Regards

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