Caught in a vise- Article about SIF in Harmony Magazine

Just as there are helpless women being tortured for dowry by their in-laws, there are silvers being harassed on false charges of seeking dowry and cruel behaviour. Rajashree Balaram presents the other side of the story

In March 2003, the Committee on Reforms of the Criminal Justice System set up by the Ministry of Home Affairs, chaired by Justice V S Malimath, suggested amendments to Section 498 A of the Indian Penal Code (IPC) on the plea that it was being misused. Section 498 A is a criminal law under which a woman and her parental family can charge the woman’s husband and any or all of his family members, including elderly parents and minor-aged siblings of physical or mental cruelty. Anyone charged with Section 498 A is liable to be arrested by the police without any initial investigation.

To analyse whether Section 498 A was actually being misused as indicated in the Malimath Committee Report, the Centre for Social Research (CSR) in Delhi conducted a survey across Delhi, Karnataka, Rajasthan and West Bengal. What emerged out of one-on-one interviews and focus group discussions — involving victims, accused, families of both sides, police, lawyers, judges and NGOs — was a grim picture of oppression and manipulation. On the one hand, nearly 50 million Indian women were found cowering under statistics of domestic violence. On the other, 6.5 per cent of the cases studied were proven to be false. Just as there are helpless women being tortured for dowry by their in-laws, there are silvers who are being harassed on false charges of seeking dowry, mental harassment and cruel behaviour. Many innocent elderly citizens are being dragged into court unscrupulously by their daughters-in-law and their families under allegations of Section 498 A, Section 3 & 4 of the Dowry Prohibition Act and Section 406 of the IPC — Breach of Trust, which refers to non-return of the gifts and jewellery given by the woman’s parents and relatives during the wedding.

Although preliminary investigation is required after the registration of the First Information Report (FIR), arrest warrants are issued without examining whether family members are actually abusive or have been falsely implicated. What might be merely a case of mutual incompatibility or clash of ego between the couple sometimes ends up being portrayed as collective abuse of a woman by her in-laws. Elderly parents are more vulnerable to being arrested and put in jail even before the trial begins. As most men in India continue to live with their parents even after marriage, parents are often accused of poisoning the minds of their sons against their daughters-in-law, and are therefore usually held influential in causing mental and physical harassment.

Section 498 A is cognisable (accused can be arrested without warrant), non-compoundable (complaint cannot be withdrawn by the petitioner) and non-bailable (accused must appear in court to request bail). The World Health Organisation has even reported that legal abuse of the elderly in India is among the highest in the world along with Lebanon. Alongside, it states that dowry laws in India are being used as a weapon for ruthless abuse of the elderly (Source: http://www.who.int/ageing/projects/elder_abuse/alc_ea_ind.pdf)

A Right to Information application directed to the Ministry of Home Affairs in 2005 revealed some shocking figures. In 2005, among the 58,319 dowry cases that were registered, 10,491 cases were not charge-sheeted because they were based on frivolous grounds. In the same year, 134,757 people underwent arrest for 58,319 complaints under Section 498 A and Dowry Prohibition Act. Among these, 4,744 people who were accused were above 60 years of age and arrested without any verification of the veracity of the complaint. (Source: Ministry of Home Affairs, RTI No. 24013/20/2006-SC/ST-W)

The lengthy trials for cases booked under Section 498 A can go beyond seven years and drive many families to yield to extortion, blackmail and compromise through hefty out-of-court settlements. As most silvers are not aware of the complexities of the legal machinery, they are also vulnerable to being misguided by corrupt elements in the judiciary and end up running from pillar to post. There have been instances where men and their old parents have committed suicide owing to the humiliation and public mudslinging that inevitably follows a single night spent in police custody.

Experts cite many reasons as possible triggers for misuse of gender-biased laws: speedy divorce and settlement of alimony; deep-seated insecurity prompting the woman to alienate her spouse from his family; an easy way to dissolve a marriage that was against the woman’s wishes. Often, cases are also motivated by financial greed or a desire to settle scores following a clash of ego between the couple. As the menace gains larger proportions, support groups are springing up all over the country to raise their voice against it. Most of them are led by people who have been victims earlier. Harmony meets four such groups.

MAN CELL, Delhi Even the caller tone of R P Chugh’s mobile phone is a loud proclamation of his 25-year long crusade. Try calling this Supreme Court advocate on his mobile phone and it trills the song Mujhe meri biwi se bachao (save me from my wife). A man who has suffered badly at the hands of his own wife, Chugh has spent more than two decades defending men from false claims of domestic violence and dowry harassment. The flamboyant advocate remembers his formative years when he grew up with Marxist ideologies and worked for women’s emancipation. Chugh admits to almost turning into a misogynist after he suffered from severe harassment from his wife in his first marriage. “Almost 87 per cent of the women in Tihar jail have been booked under Section 498 A, many of them old women, who have been accused of torture and cruelty without any trial,” says Chugh. He agrees that laws against dowry harassment and domestic violence are necessary in our society where millions of women do suffer submissively. But he also feels that fair amendments are urgently required otherwise “these laws will be rampantly used to victimise an innocent man for heavy compensation or simply harassment or blackmail.”

SANGYABALYA, Bengaluru Arun Murthy, 47, a freelance writer, established this forum for harassed husbands and their parents in June 2003. He was driven by his own experience when he was summoned to court in a false dowry harassment case filed by his brother’s wife four years ago. An arrest warrant was issued against Murthy and his family. Later, he wrote an article in a local newspaper venting his anguish and decided to start a help line to reach out to other people caught in similar situations. Within three days, he received over 600 calls. His friends — two architects — lent him space in their office and telephone accessibility two hours twice a week. Within three months, Sangyabalya was registered as an NGO with its own dedicated 24-hour helpline. Today the group attends to over 25-30 calls every month. A significant number of callers are NRIs. “The notion that NRIs would be more vulnerable to parting with money under duress make them easy targets,” says Murthy. Sangyabalya has 250 members, including an advocate and a counsellor, who meet every fortnight to share grievances, and discuss legal loopholes and ways to overcome them.

“What rankles is that no punitive action is taken against a woman, even when her allegations are proved to be false,” says Murthy. He emphasises that even the Supreme Court has labelled the misuse of Section 498 A as “legal terrorism” and admitted that “many complaints are not bona fide and have been filed with an oblique motive. In such cases, acquittal of the accused does not wipe out the ignominy suffered during and prior to the trial.”

“Many families turn bitter under the twin assault — loss of employment and unfair allegations,” says Murthy. “The stigma attached to being in police custody can wipe out employment opportunities and can lead the man and his family to severe financial despair.” He has a three-pronged approach to the issue: suggesting correct legal measures to counter the charges; providing a platform where they can share their woes; and campaigning for the rights of the victims. “Sangyabalya offers them a chance to share, learn and heal,” says Murthy.

PROTECT INDIAN FAMILY, Mumbai These days, M R Gupta, 55, spends most of his time poring through heavy tomes on Indian law. The civil engineer is appearing for his LLB exams because he wants to be fully empowered when he fights his daughter-in-law who has filed false allegations of harassment against Gupta’s family under Section 498 A. He is the director of Protect Indian Family, an offshoot of Save Indian Family — an international network of NGOs and individuals for victims of misuse of gender-biased laws.

Gupta shares his crusade with P R Gokul, 34, the other director of Protect Indian Family forum and a past victim of false charges of dowry harassment. Gupta and Gokul meet coordinators and members every Saturday at Gupta’s cybercafé in Mulund, Mumbai. The forum took shape when Gokul expressed his views in an online chat group while he was fighting the allegations against him. Today Protect Indian Family has 200 members in Mumbai and branches in Delhi, Kolkata, Chennai, Bangalore, Hyderabad and Jaipur. Gokul still remembers the plight of his own parents who were jailed without investigation.

“There are many helpless old couples who approach us,” says Gokul. He has observed that silvers feel guilty and responsible about their sons’ plight as, often, they have arranged the match. According to him, the couple should have the freedom to explore their emotional and mental compatibility before marriage. As a case study, Gokul points out a case where a man and his widowed mother lost possession of their own house when they were falsely charged with mental harassment and domestic violence.

SAHANA, Hyderabad At a recent conference on the misuse of gender-biased laws, a young woman confessed that she had framed her husband’s family falsely under charges of dowry harassment. When asked for her motive she simply said that she had done it on the behest of her parents who wanted her husband to come and stay with them. “The woman wanted to know how she could extricate her in-laws from the shackles of law but she didn’t know that the damage was already done,” says Durga Prasad Kollu, a 30 year-old IT professional and the president of Sahana, a Hyderabad-based support group that had organised the conference. Sahana has over 100 members. Most of them meet every Sunday to discuss the correct legal action for victims and to offer a sounding board.

In 2005, when Kollu was posted in Switzerland, he was summoned to India on false charges of dowry harassment filed by his sister-in-law against his family. The case still drags on and Kollu says his brother, who was earlier an IT engineer, has become a recluse, drained of all his money. Sahana has help lines in Ahmedabad, Bengaluru, Chennai, Delhi, Jaipur, Kanpur, Kerala, Kolkata, Mumbai, Nasik, Pune, and in the US. It receives about four to five calls every week. Almost 55 per cent of the callers are parents of victims. Besides campaigning for better legislative measures, Kollu likes to try a refreshing approach to reduce their agony. Recently, he took members on a trip to Nagarjunasagar Fall.

Sahana: 09848280354, http://www.sahanaindia.org/; Sangyabalya: 09845715737; Protect Indian Family: 09224335577 http://www.protectindianfamily.org/; Man Cell: 011 27491446, http://www.mancell.i8.com/

Featured in Harmony Magazine, January 2008

Arrest guidelines in case of 498a(cognisable crimes)- Judgement -Joginder Kumar Vs State Of UP

Arrest guidelines in case of 498a(cognisable crimes)- Judgement -Joginder Kumar Vs State Of UP

Video Details: NDTV News- Delhi Police Commisioner's Circular (No Arrest without Investigation or Sanction from ACP?DCP- in case of complaints under IPC sections 498, 406

Commisioner of Police, Delhi has issued a circular to all police stations in Delhi,
The instructions in this circular are:1)Full investigations before any arrest in case of Indian Penal Code sections 498a & 406 2)Sanction of ACP required for arrest of prime accused, sanction of DCP required for arrest of other co-accused. There three such circulars from Delhi police now.

See a Tv program about this Delhi police circular in CNN-IBN

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A Plea to file RTIs for all states to get Similar Circulars to all Police Stations in the state

IMPORTANT : This message is of common interest, for all Indian States- if we do this exercise all over India we will make a quantum jump in tackling the menace of 498a(arrests by police could avoided to a large extent, even without Anticipatory bails). So please read carefully

Hi SLV,

Here is some stuff which you have to use with conviction(they are not the panacea you are looking for, but they could be, if you use it well. The Hyderabad group has used these material and had avoided an arrest(See http://groups.yahoo.com/group/saveindianfamily/message/83251 and its threads), so take the help of the Delhi group and do it for yourselves, but you need to do some work too ok, here is the plan)

See the links below, mainly

1) Hyderabad Police Commissioner has issued a memo to all AP police stations based on the judgement(Joginder Kumar Vs State of UP) , there will be similar memo issued by Commissioner of Police to all Police stations in delhi, similarly in other states of India (since the judgement below has directed all the states to issue such a memo and most likely all the commissioner of police would have issued them around 2002 like in Hyderabad). So take some help from our delhi team and get the Similar memo for Delhi through Right to Information(RTI, similarly others can do for their states).

2) judgement(Joginder Kumar Vs State of UP- Powers Of The Police To Arrest )

3) judgement(Allahabad HC reiterating the judgement of Joginder Kumar Vs State of UP)

Hope you are in touch with the delhi team, if not ask someone to contact them tomorrow(Saturday) when they have their weekly meeting in Patiala House(Gate no.2, at the Lawns there, from 4PM to 7 or so). For phone numbers see http://www.savefamily.org/)

Hi All in the group,

I wish all the states do this RTI work and get the respective commissioner memo which follows the Judgement of Joginder Kumar Vs State of UP. These memos will help the local groups to avoid arrests of families accused of false 498a, if we do this all over India with at least some rate of success we would have made a quantum jump in tackling the menace of 498a.

1) Here is the link to the judgments and Hyderabad Commissioner Memo:
http://ipc498a.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/hyd-police-comm-memo-498a-no-arrest.jpg

for complete details see http://ipc498a.wordpress.com/2008/03/29/hyd-comm-of-police-no-arrest-without-permission-of-dcp-in-498a-cases-2002/

There will be an equivalent of this order from the Delhi police commissioner, etc.(other State guys please put RTIs to fish out the respective Commissioner of Police memos, there is one in Mumbai which I am going to get soon), get that through RTI.

2) Powers Of The Police To Arrest In Accordance With Joginder Kumar Vs State Of UP
http://ipc498a.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/joginder-kumar-vs-state-of-up-apr-1994.pdf

Read the contents of this link as well to get the complete picture:http://ipc498a.wordpress.com/2007/09/23/magna-carta-and-joginder-kumar-vs-state-of-up/

3) Allahabad HC Reiterate Powers Of The Police To Arrest In Accordance With Joginder Kumar Vs State Of UP
http://ipc498a.wordpress.com/2007/10/29/allahabad-hc-reiterate-powers-of-the-police-to-arrest-in-accordance-with-joginder-kumar-vs-state-of-up/

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Whenever members manage to get the Memo of CP of their respective states through RTI, please send a scanned copy to me by private mail, so that I can get them incorporated in the Survival Guide(take a look at this wonderful resource if you all have not : http://ipc498a.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/a-guide-to-surviving-ipc498a-apr-2008-indexed.pdf ).
Warm Regards,

Gokul,
http://gokul.go.to, 9821414336(Mumbai)

Editor - www.siftimes.com , Director- http://www.pifngo.info/

Protect Indian Family: "For Family Harmony.. Against Legal Terrorism"

Re: Can CAW arrest?
Posted by: "stupidlawvictim"
Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:48 am (PDT)
I have read the survival guide. It was definitely helpful. However, there are some issues ... Since the complaint at CAW cell is already made, apparently we can notget AB as easily. The girls side will also be brought to table andthey will try to stop it. If I get AB in Delhi, apparently I can get it very easily for a fewdays (say 15 days). However, if my in laws dont file a FIR by thattime, it is waste. Say, they file the FIR on 20th day and police comesto arrest on 25th day, the AB would have already expired. Lastly, it is only my old parents who are in India. If they arearrested, yes, I will be afraid of that possibility. My father can noteven move. My sister will be appearing for 12th. It will be disastrousif they are arrested. Net net .. I dont have a fool proof plan to tackle the summon from CAWcell. I and my old parents need help

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You can send this petition to your Commissioner of Police to try and avoid arrest in case of false 498a: http://at498a.blogspot.com/2008/05/impending-498a-send-this.html

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A related order of High Court Chennai: TN women cops use third degree to solve wedding woes

Mumbai Protest on 5th April, Press Meet on 2nd April

Please plan and spare your time for these upcoming events in Mumbai.

The Press conference is going to be on 2nd April(Wednesday), post lunch, at Marathi Pathrakar Sangh(next to Press Club), VT

The Dharna is going to be at 'Fountain'(Horniman Circle), which is infront of High Court, on 5th April(Saturday), Post Lunch.

We are planning to bring in more women to the fore, since thats whats lacking in our movement now, just like what I heard of the Hyderabad Press Meet. The timings will be announced as we get the permissions and confirmations.

The topic for both the events will be "Ineffective, Draconian and Misuse-Prone laws concerning Indian families". Where we want to stress the point that these laws are not in favour of 'Anyone', Any gender who is on the side of 'Justice' and truth(the Ineffective part).

We want to bring the majority to our side, by convincing the truth that these laws are nothing but an evil tool for furthering interests of some lobbies, and never for the aid of Genuine Victims of any type!(the Draconian and Misuse-Prone parts).

SIF Presentation at the 15th Annual Conference of Psychologists, Mumbai
We successfully presented our views on the "Ineffective and Misuse-prone laws concerning family"(though the offical title was 'Women and Wellbeing') to an almost all-woman audience. Ms.Meena Mutha, Head of Manav Foundation(dealing with mentally handicapped people), a Psychologist and SIF member presented this on 5th March 2008.

The Venue itself was the all Woman SNDT University, the attending Psychologists were all ladies expect 2-3 'eclipsed' males, along with the students(Dept of Psychology) of SNDT(total strength of around 40 people).

We had around 30 minutes in which Ms.Meena Presented the 16 Slides, and we(Jinesh and me) fielded the usual resistance-full questions. AT the end I think it sunk in, though time was short, it definitely left an impression on the audience.

They knew, by the end, that the Genuine use is not 'happening' and the shield is being used as a 'Weapon' and that the 'Watchdog' has turned the 'Bloodhound' .

We are almost sure that these student atleast will take up further research on this topic which we lit 'fire' upon, if thats done our efforts will pay-off in multiples. If the practising Psychologists keeps the message with them we can hope to have some 'word of the mouth' and hopefully some research, let small drops make oceans, what else can we hope for.

The presentation was required to be on the Theme 'Women and Wellness', to be presented with respect to four aspects as below:


a)a) Relevance of the institution of marriage in today's times.

b) Women Entrepreneur

c) Women and mental and Physical Health with social Reference to violence and Abuse.

d) Women and Law.

View the presentation at:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/saveindianfamily/files/Forgotten%20Women

View some pictures at: http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b118/zanskarAqua/Sif/15thAnnualPsychologistMeetMumbai/

An Innocent gets arrested every 5 minutes, under IPC section 498a

Excerpt from: http://www.ndtv.com/convergence/ndtv/story.aspx?id=NEWEN20080038074

……..But the one most commonly used is Section 498A that protects women against domestic violence and dowry, under which the police can make an immediate arrest, without any investigation.

And here are the startling statistics:

A 2003 study by the Delhi based Centre for Social Research found that nearly 98% cases under 498A that protects women against domestic violence and dowry were false.

In National Crime Records Bureau data, 80% cases under 498A were found to be without merit after trial.

The data, also shows under 498A an innocent person is arrested every five minutes. (Source: Centre for Social Research Study, 2003)

According to National Crime Records Bureau 2005, 80 per cent cases under 498A found without merit after trial. Under 498A, an innocent person is arrested every five minutes.


In Hyderabad, Lalitha Reddy breaks down, talking about the night, she spent in jail.
A few days after marriage, her son and daughter-in-law moved to the US. Seven months later Lalitha and her husband were arrested. The couple's daughter-in-law had filed a complaint, alleging she was tortured for a sum of 20 lakhs.

''She should have told us before that she has filed a case, that she doesn't want to live with my son. If she wants to leave, we won't stop her,'' said Lalitha Reddy, mother-in-law.

PR Gokul, a Mumbai businessman claims he is another victim. ''She always wanted her say, and I was expected to follow that without any questions. At a later stage, I felt she and her parents had an eye on my money,'' he said.

The breaking point was that after our baby was born she was staying with my parents in Kerala. Her family walked into my home and took her and the baby away. It was a power struggle and they saw the law as an avenue to take me under their control,'' he added.

Families like these now have come under an umbrella group called Save India Family to fight what they claim is the misuse of anti dowry laws.

''Anyone can put up an allegation. It's very difficult to prove if they have taken or given dowry. People dont speak up about this except when a case is filed under 498A,'' said Mohan Pillai, matrimonial lawyer.

Relevance of Love, Respect and Patience in modern familial situations- A Men’s day special.

There have been a lot of studies commissioned to ascertain the causes of family breakdowns, divorces, etc., but without going into those results we can summarise that Love, Respect and Patience are the three prime factors which make a family tick. When at least these three prevail in a relationship, issues and conflicts resolve at the earliest and the bond finds new thresholds and heights of synergy. If these factors are eclipsed or are absent, even silly ego clashes and difference of opinions lead to irreparable ruptures in relationships, including litigations and other court matters.

So it is arguable that in these times of super efficiency and high-strung performance anxieties, we need to balance the paucity of time for each other by deliberately taking out time to acknowledge each others role and importance in building up a successfully satisfying family; a family where someone is a father, a mother, daughter, a son, a brother, a sister, etc. While historically many of our societies have acknowledged women’s contributions and importance in sustaining a progressive society, acknowledging men was not considered necessary because of various reasons including chivalry itself. In these modern times this deliberate step of acknowledging a man’s role is also very important, just like acknowledging women on women’s day.

Several countries already have a practice of celebrating men’s day, this year ‘Save Indian Family’ along with ‘Hallmark’, one of the leading greeting card companies in India, have decided to mark November 19th as the first International Men’s day celebration in India.

Here are some images which could bring out the necessity of International Men’s day: Men toiling under the wrath of the hot sun, inhaling noxious exhaust all through the day only for returning home to be with his beloveds, and to ensure that all the members have enough supplies to survive on, to be happy even if he has to scorch himself this way for a lifetime. Men selflessly putting themselves in the line of duty and fire to defend their country and hence thousands of its citizens, who do not even acknowledge his contributions and sacrifice. Men making a living amongst inhospitable conditions like furnaces, oil rigs, deserts, hazardous waste management, toxic sewage, nuclear plants, and other high risk occupations, doing these only following certain values of ‘providing’, ‘sacrificing’, selflessly toiling and silently bearing the brunt.

I asked some close associates in the opposite sex about why there should at all be a men’s day these were the reactions. From the infant stage the stress of getting into diapers and restricting themselves into the damp contours till the time of relief, to the crammed school commute in rickshaws or buses, it seems that boys are more susceptible to the stress factors. This observation is well backed by the lowering of the age for heart attacks among males, which now a days is not uncommon at the age of even thirty five!. Another observation was simply that they deserve a men’s day just because they are the ones who get entangled in the cross fire between a mother in law and a daughter in law, but I thought aloud why cannot these ladies cease to have a cross-fire at all! . Anyway it was a majority of approvers after the initial cynicism faded away into realisation that indeed men need a day to relax and to feel good that the world has finally decided to acknowledge his efforts and existence.

Centuries of social conditioning aid in sustaining this seemingly obscure behaviour of self-destruction; and this has been one of the most important traits of man throughout the history of mankind. Roles of men and women has evolved with the need of the times, and its still evolving in the modern era of ‘Knowledge’ where most of the jobs are knowledge based and not based on physical strength. Nevertheless the jobs which still has to be done manually, which has an element of risk and physical strength to it, gets done by men by and large- the responsibilities which they discharge without even batting an eyelid, owing to the same social-conditioning and inherent traits of putting oneself in the line of fire.

It is natural that nothing but spectacular or nail-biting gets noticed in this world, the same limitations of public perception paves way to the discounting and almost discrediting of the efforts by men. When a man does his duties, as per the social situation he is in, it is just that he is fulfilling the bare necessities of his existence. All said and done he neither gets appreciation nor acknowledgement for what he does in his lifetime, and since a man is not supposed to cry in desperation he is short-changed in that department too!

Earlier when men were supposed to defend kingdoms, farms, hamlets, households, dignity of his womenfolk, etc., may be expressions of love were in the form of social status, reverence and fear offered by the rest of the society. But this we are talking about millennia back in time, but in these times of ‘knowledge’ how do people acknowledge and appreciate each other, what other than ‘expressions of love’, an almost equivalent to a hug, a day earmarked for somebody who needs a hug. But again it is universally wondered why man needs a day to acknowledge him, its almost like on one day you have women’s day and all other days in an year are for men. This is as fallacious as saying; all the unsold toffees are there for the shop owner to enjoy! . Unless one is hugged, the person remains un-hugged; there is no shortcut to this road.

Connecting all these impressions to the familial situation that is prevailing in our society these days is also important. The way young men and women have dearth of respect and patience, if not love, in their relationship as a couple, it is almost imminent that more single parenting situations arise, a rise of a father-less society to be specific, given the inclination of our judiciary and society- denying fathers the rights of the children and thereby actually denying children their fathers. Again there have been numerous studies, the result of which is not oblivious to common wisdom too, that single parenting leads to behavioural aberrations in children and which in turn leads them to be adults with major personality disorders. Do we owe this to our children, a reality worse than ours?

An even daunting extension of the above scenario is the specter of fragmented families not in touch with each other, leading to even marriages among biological brothers and sisters. This is not at all figment of anyone’s imagination since these scenarios have already manifested themselves, almost extensively, in the western world, who are unfortunately the fore-runners of this scenario too. The moot question before us, as a nation proud of its families as strong building blocks, is that whether we would want to ape the west even in the way their societies have disintegrated into total anarchy. If not, why don’t we sit up and take lessons from the way they have disintegrated, and what to be beware of, what the west has painfully realised and is taking up as first-aid, moreover revisiting our morals and values for its time-tested efficacy and clairvoyance, in sustaining families as units of excellence and satisfaction.

What can we do as individuals? , a lot, is the answer. We can lead by example for one, and that’s the only way our children will imbibe values for a lifetime, we could start by respecting each other, we can salute the completeness attained when a man and woman join together. A complete entity, with so much diversity in life-skills and traits, could not be attained in a single organism and hence we had to be split (for fans of evolution- we had to evolve) into man and woman. Since we rightly have a women’s day let us complete the circle of goodness by having a men’s day, where we acknowledge the men in our life, be it a father, brother, son, uncle, nephew, friend, grand father, cousin, doctor, boss, anyone who you have thought favourably of, let them know your appreciation, lets keep a day in honour of them too- NOVEMBER 19th – is International Men’s Day.

Hallmark & SIF Bringing out Men's Day Cards: An email to discuss the possible concepts

Dear Ms.Aruna,

As discussed in our telecon I am attaching a Picture of father & daughter , which appealed to many us, in our group, facing alienation from our kids. This is in fact the our main page picture at one of our sub groups in the SIF Network; Save Indian Child : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SaveIndianChild

I myself have not seen my eldest daughter(I have a newborn now, from my remarriage) since she was 1 month old, and for 5 years now I haven't seen or talked to her, or rather I have been denied that right, to put briefly.

But as discussed this bond of a father and daughter/child cannot be the sole concept, which would paint the entire picture with respect to the Men's day(anyway its taken care by exclusive "fathers day", but the question remains ....what happens to the segment "alienated fathers" do they deserve a separate day!? :), may be some day we will talk about this too, for now I am linking you to an article about our cause, going to be featured in a newsletter by a social organisation, see the bottom of this post).

But somehow we need to put elements of this aspect, of a man, in the cards we are now trying to conjure up.

As I mentioned, lets have images where Men are putting in their best for the family, for the Nation, for the causes and values which they get ready to die for. So that people sit and realise that ... yes.... this guy need to be hugged with a card, as mark of love and recognition for all the thankless efforts he has been putting in without even knowing to whether to expect some love at least in return or not!. When he puts his body in the line of fire, when he jumps into the torrent of a river without even blinking an eye to save a dear one, when he pulls a rickshaw under scorching sun gasping for air in plumes of noxious fumes and returns home tired, but with a toy for his children and love for his wife.... the ideas are endless, but how to put it subtly and still project the essence of this thankless existence, is what you guys in the creative side has been doing the best!.

If my messages are getting a bit emotional, I am sorry, its since I am getting emotional, since I , along with hundreds in our group(including fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, sisters, etc.), have been short changed for love and respect, time and again, from among our kith and kin. Its not the problem with the person I am/we are up against, its the problem with the centuries or millenniums of social conditioning , which has been instrumental in programming everyone in our society to neglect/discredit men as some one who all the time needs and yearns for some expression of love from others, in the bottom of his heart!(moot point: why is a man not supposed to cry, is he not an emotional being, doesn't his tear glands have a mandate to cry out of emotion!).

Lets say it with cards, thank you my man, we all love you...... to brothers, sons, fathers, nephews, grandsons, great grandsons......Some such appropriately worded and heart-felt expressions(embellished by suitable Pictures and "Verbalised Hugs") which you and your creative team can make in a jiffy, but something which I can only get emotionally eloquent about!.

Every body needs to be touched deep inside, yes.... and....not just non-males :).

Lets make it good, lets do it.

Warm Regards,

Gokul - http://gokul.go.to/ , http://www.pifngo.info/ (Director),09895697372(at Kerala now, till Mid September), 9821414336(Mumbai)(Read and participate at http://www.siftimes.com/ (Editor), and at: http://siftimes.com/blog )

PS: Read on about our Save Indian Family scope, awareness and other objectives......... at: http://at498a.blogspot.com/2007/09/sif-awareness-article-for-newsletter-of.html

SIF AWARENESS ARTICLE FOR NEWSLETTER OF 'PRABHU-SANGH'

Towards a good life- Protecting families, building a better India

It is a pleasure to write to you all through this wonderful publication, at the same its sad that we had to take up this cause which was forced on to our modern society by legal terrorism, which is widespread and leaves no one out of its ambit.

Yes, the following piece of information is concerned with any Indian National, Living anywhere in the world, since they themselves or their loved ones will be much better placed acquiring this bit of information, and hence working towards the solutions of this problem, which is being explained in the remaining sections.

The more awareness this menace of legal terrorism gets, the better since we can fight this “Systemic Rot” only with the majority franchise of responsible citizens of India. You may wonder what is new in the term ‘Systemic Rot’ or in general, ‘Corruption’ (of values, responsibilities, dealings, etc.), but this specific subject deals with the entire family one has, so is more horrifying and more serious than ever, please read on… while I will not try to mince words or ideas. Hope you read it for all of our wellness, and Indian families’ harmony.

Save Indian Family(SIF) - Vision


• We are an international network of NGOs and individuals (currently over 20 NGOs and 50,000 families across the globe), which is a Non-Profit, Self-Help, Support Group for victims of misuse of laws concerning families, ie. Domestic Violence, Dowry, Dowry & Law [IPC 498A]; and misuse of other Gender biased Laws. We started our activities in 2003, but grew exponentially, as the menace of legal terrorism and family destruction went rampant. For details &Media references, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Save_Indian_Family

• Our aim is to reduce legal interference in simple inter-personal relationships, and to avoid victimisation of families by way of misuse of gender-biased laws. Last but not the least to instill a sense of value, and to inspire bonds based on respect and love, in both the partners who forms the basic building block of a family and hence a Nation.

Who constitutes SIF

• These laws concerning families are generally misused to wreck vengeance, gain control or extort money from the victim-family.

• This is the same reason why victim-families usually are well off and are well employed and well educated (IITs, IIMs, IAS/IPS, etc.). 90% of our current members are from the IT field, the rest are Doctors, Businessmen, even Judges and Policemen are not immune, apart from Politicians and Film actors. We have around 10% NRI members

• We have active members/groups/NGOs in UK(most parts of Europe), USA, Australia, Japan, South Africa, Tanzania, Botswana, all over Middle East, apart from over 20 centers in India. Please refer the helpline numbers at http://www.pifngo.info/ , for the extent of our network(Table towards the bottom of the main page)

Recent visual Media References

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgjA3KcQmWc & http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaMZP7plUAQ : Janmath Tv program on Legal Terrorism-Aug 25,2007
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awW3gsNqBCA : India Tv program covering SIF’s National Protest/Dharna against Legal Terrorism-Aug 25,2007
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBN-lzpzTME : India Tv sting operation exposing a well-entrenched cartel including Government hospital Doctors who ‘makes’ medical certificates showing injuries so that families can be implicated in false cases-June 2007
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pebTDzu2Nk : siftimes.com exclusive interview with Star Tamil actor Prashanth(film “Jeans” fame) who was implicated in false case of IPC 498a,by his ‘wife’ who married him while she was still married to another person(without a divorce!!!)- July 2007.

Brief History of SIF, Objectives and FAQ

Though SIFF(full official name Save Indian Family Foundation) came into formal existence in 2005 as a yahoogroup of individual members and NGOs, the movement can be traced back to 2003 when a group of individual members coordinated themselves and helped each other with information and other relevant issues, through internet discussion boards, emails and some other yahoo groups. At present SIFF is a registered entity, similarly to the member NGO- PIFF which is registered with the Ministry of Company Affairs.

Our primary aim is to facilitate a better family system for the progress of a family and hence positive progress of India.

Currently there is widespread insecurities and disputes including legal cases running through a vast majority of Indian families, owing to some Indian Laws concerning families which are Skewed, .not very well thought out and rationalised. Because of these skews or biases in our laws, more and more families are pushed into the ignominy of wastefully destructive litigations which runs into years and years of misery and lower productivity and peace of mind, hampering the peace and progress of our Indian families both in India as well as abroad. We aim to get these skewed laws, which result in broken and dysfunctional families, rationalised for better familial and national progress by and large, and hence facilitate a better family system wherever an Indian family may be across the globe.

Please find the following links for objectives of Save Indian Family(http://www.saveindianfamily.org/pages/SIFF_aims_objects.pdf ) and Protect Indian Family Foundation, which is a member-NGO of the SIF network. (http://protectindianfamily.org/index.php?module=articles&c=articles&b=2&a=1 and http://protectindianfamily.org/index.php?module=articles&c=articles&b=1&a=3)

Protect Indian Family Foundation(PIFF), Mumbai is an NGO Member of SIFF Network(the Umbrella movement in which many other national and International NGOs, Research organisations and Individuals/families across the globe are part of).

*********Some FAQs about our Movement- SIF ***********

1) Q -> First, our readers would wish to know more about this unique agenda called Save Indian family Network and all your campaign as part of it.

A-> There is an increasing trend of destructive influences vis-à-vis the Indian Family, one of the most obvious and avoidable being the bias in the legal system, which leads to destruction of many a Indian family. Instead of promotion Domestic Harmony these laws are unbalanced and seemingly plays to the politics of vote bank. For instance IPC 498a which is the law against cruelty against women (wives) is widely misused and is the cause of legal terrorism at the hands of unscrupulously opportunistic women, against her husband and relatives(including a mother and sister, on a average). Laws like this is so harsh in its powers that it could be manipulated to trap innocent victims even without any investigation by the police, just on the words of a law-misusing, extortionist wife. The original intent of these laws(including the new Domestic Violence Law) were to prevent offences against women, which is undisputed. We are only working towards amending these laws so that the scope of misuse is reduced, as well as to spread awareness and establish provisions to prevent offences against Men and his family members which is a growing trend as evidenced by worldwide activism by Men's Right Groups(http://at498a.blogspot.com/2007/04/radars-lobbying-against-international.html ).

2) Q-> Is there anything disconcerting trends in the society that spell concern/doom for the Indian family? If yes, what are the trends?.

A-> The trend of Materialism over and above familial progress, and the various offshoots of this trend. Especially the eagerness to get ahead of others even at the cost of one's own family and its progress.

3) Q-> Which are the most exaggerated and the most undermined roles in a traditional Indian family? (here you can make light of the more-often-than-not weak case of the man or supposed head of family)

A-> Roles are sometimes exaggerated but sometimes undermined, but there is an increasing trend of painting the role of men as oppressors, and women as victims- as if it is a universal constant!. If this was left at it, there would not have been much cause of worry, but laws are built on this premise, harshly against men, which are waiting to be misused at the hands of unscrupulous women- this is the case of worry.

4) Q-> How are the sets of family, society, community and nation connected and how can they be made mutually beneficial?

A-> Family is the basic block of a society and hence a nation. For a Nation to be progressing, the family first needs to be on that path. For a family to progress, there need be nurturing of members not oppression of any. When there the launch pad is firm, there is no limit to which one can reach.

5) Q-> Discuss the so-called domestic laws and their good points, flaws or even ambiguity or absence – dowry, inheritance, domestic violence, senior citizens etc.

A-> The good thing about Domestic laws is that they address the point when a woman is oppressed, the bad point is also that they address only the scenario in which a woman is oppressed, not the scenarios in which Men are oppressed. The recent Protection of Women against Domestic Violence law even necessitates that the complainant needs to be a women and the accused(respondent) needs to be a Man, thus excluding other scenarios of domestic violence from this laws ambit. What happens to the senior citizens who are oppressed by women, men harassed my women?. Though our dowry laws has a provision for punishment of Dowry Givers, how many instances of dowry giving has been punished?!. Surprised?. In how many instances have girls married (for whatever reasons it may be) lesser-established boys without paying dowry?(by not buying the boy)

6) Q-> Any other fact relevant to the context of the Indian family and that needs to be crusaded against… Crusade for…..

A-> Crusade for….. educating young men and women about what a marriage entails, what partners need to contribute, what values to imbibe, need for perseverance before thoughts of luxury.

Explicitly: Establishing framework and laws that promote family as the building block for progress.

Crusade against…. The trend of need for instant gratification, in the process, intolerance to efforts and results.

Explicitly: Opposing laws and lobbies, which lead to moral decay and oppression towards selective sections of our society.

*************** End of FAQ****************

Also check out this http://www.angelfire.com/pe/terzohrab/dowrylaw.html: Indian Dowry Law (498a) : Myth vs. Reality

- An investigative Report© 2005-2007 Asha-Kiran. All rights reserved.

(Disclaimer: None of the material can be reproduced, displayed, modified or distributed without the permission of the copyright holder. For permission, contact: mailto:help.ashakiran@gmail.com.)

Also see another ink which will help you understand why even Supreme court finds the misuse of laws like 498a, horrendous: http://www.saveindianfamily.org/blogs/2005/07/22/sc-legal-terrorism/

See some observations on the new Domestic Violence law which also could be misused to gargantuan proportions: http://www.saveindianfamily.org/blogs/2006/11/13/sif-opposes-dvlaw .


Our Activities:

As mentioned we have local SIF chapters/active members/NGOs in UK(most parts of Europe), USA, Australia, Japan, Singapore, Malaysia, South Africa, Tanzania, Botswana, all over Middle East, apart from over 20 centers in India. Please refer the helpline numbers at http://www.pifngo.info/ , for the extent of our network(Table towards the bottom of the main page).

We conduct weekly counseling meetings in most of our local groups, where we impart legal as well as emotional strength to the new members, while the old members move on to be Activists armed with new values and tools of knowledge(which kills fear), of trust(which increases synergy), of values(which makes on strong from inside), of socially responsible Action(which makes one selfless). So we invite all socially aware and responsible Indian Citizens to help out fellow humans, even if one may not be remotely involved in the menace depicted in the previous sections. We need each other for building a good tomorrow. Please come forward without prejudice, fear or hesitation. All are welcome to join this movement for fighting for ones right to have a honourable life, for truth, for justice and for dignity and love.

Jai Hind

Gokul.P.R

For Protect Indian Family, NGO, Mumbai
http://pifngo.info/ , Helplines: +91 9224335577, 9869323538 .
Read daily news at : http://www.siftimes.com/ , participate in discussions at www.siftimes.com/blog

'Peace Ride' on bikes around Bombay,30th Sept 2007

As you may be already knowing, we, in association with Bombay Bikers, are doing a 'Peace Ride' on bikes(and if needed Cars) around Bombay, 30th September in conjunction with Gandhi Jayanthi.

Please do confirm your participation by registering/confirming , see the route details too, at: http://www.bombaybikers.com/prepration/index.php?trip_no=19 . If you are unable to access the site, please send an email to me(drmura (at) hotmail (dot) come or hemant(hemant.kulshreshtha @ gmail.com ) in this regard.

Brief details of the Peace Ride(Bikes and Cars too)


Start Date: 30 Sep 2007, Start Time: 10: 30 Hrs
Meeting Point: 10:30 AM - Bandra Reclamation

Route / Haults
Bandra Reclamation > Worli > Chowpatty > Marine Line > Nariman Point > VT > Mohamad Ali Road Fly over > Kings Cricle > Sion > Bandra Reclamation

End Date : 30 Sep 2007, End Time : Before 5 PM

Contact Persons
Kamal - 91 9867550703 , Simi - 91 9967642220,
Gokul(SIF)- 91 9821414336, Hemant(SIF) - 91 9324556700

Pls participate in the poll regarding this Peace Ride: http://www.orkut.com/CommPollResults.aspx?cmm=22229511&pct=1188454247&pid=573459727

or at http://www.orkut.com/CommPollResults.aspx?cmm=14080103&pct=1188998479&pid=567088348

Each of your efforts will go a long way in bringing back the tranquility at home, since Charity begins at Home. Home is the fountainhead of life-force, lets nurture the tranquility for families to thrive.

Let there be PEACEEEEEEEEEEE

*************
Warm Regards, Gokul - http://gokul.go.to , www.pifngo.info (Director), 09895697372(at Kerala now, till Mid September), 9821414336(Mumbai) (Read and participate at www.siftimes.com (Editor), and at: http://siftimes.com/blog )

PS: at the bombay bikers site(link above) you will find the list of confirmed participants until now, we expect ateleast 10 SIFian bikes(20 people, plus Pune guys if they make it finally) and another 20 Bombay Bikers Bikes(40 people), thumbing it down on a sunday criss cross mumbai.......... jai ambe

Invation to Mr.ArjunSingh: NationalMeet &Protest against-Misuse-of-Laws concerning Families(IPC498a/DomesticViolence&DowryProhibition acts,causing Family&Elder Abuse

To,

Mr.Arjun Singh,
17, Akbar Road, New Delhi
Tel: 23016516, 23017340, Fax- 23017404, 9868181607(M)
Email: arjuns@sansad.nic.in


Dear Mr.Singh,

Greetings from all at Protect Indian Family, Mumbai.

Let me introduce our Umbrella Group "Save Indian Family"(SIF) as a network of NGOs, Individuals and other socially responsible Organisations and Authorities. Currently the yahoo group of SIF has a strength of 3000 NGO and Individual members in total, on actual ground we have more than 50000 families as our members and above 20 NGOs as our Network-affiliates spread pan-globe.

Our main area of concern and hence work is regarding Misuse of Laws concerning Families in India(and families with People of Indian citizenship abroad). As you are well aware, and since you yourselves had a first hand encounter with the Viscious and Malignant misuse of IPC 498a, I would desist explaining anymore in this regard. You could check our websites and New Publication http://www.siftimes.com/ for more information and current events being reported all around the world in this line.

Unfortunately or Fortunately! the Octopus hands of this blatantly misused laws do not stop at any threshold, be it Mr.Huda(haryana), yourselves or Popular Businessmen(Aseem Premji of Wipro was falsely accused in a Domestic Violence case recently, allegdly for giving "Dating Allowance" for wipro employess, this alleged 'allowance' later turned out to be fictitous and the allegation proved to be opportunistically oblique, to amass a quick buck as Ransom/Extortion Money by the Law misusing wife of a Wipro employee-Mr.Gaurav Nigam, who is our Member since then).

We also have Mr.Deepak Pandey I.P.S(for Aid De Camp(A.D.C) to the Gorverner or Maharashtra), as our member and well wisher; who was falsely alleged of Cruelty to his IAS wife(after 2 yers of Suspension and Departmental enquiry, he was re-instated with full compensations for the suspension period!- but who is responsible and how can anyone make-up for Mr.Deepak's(or any of our memeber's) valuable time, Mental Truama, Irreversible scars on ones personality and psyche and health). He is just one of the luminaries who has associated with us, along with other eminent personalities including judges, policemen/policewomen!, Actors, and other persons in prime societal positions, who were ruthless, undeservingly and vexatiously victimised by wrongful use of these laws by LEGAL TERRORISTS.

This email is specifically to inform you that our umbrella group, Save Indian Family(the yahoo group of which you are already a member of), is organising a National Level Meeting and Protest in Delhi((held on 25th and 26th August.... details: http://mynation.wordpress.com/2007/08/21/national-level-protest-against-dowry-dv-laws-on-26th-aug2007/) .

We would like your association in these events(held on 25th and 26th August) as a Patron or Affiliate etc., as you think appropriate. We are planning to print Banners, Invitations, etc, with all affiliate's names and their Logos etc.(like you can see in the invitation uploaded in the above link), to show strength and credibility in our demands of 'Preventing Misuse/Abuse of Laws concerning families, while Protecting genuine Victims'.

You could kindly let us know your views on the above regarding associating with our group, or could chose to bless us in our endevours in this direction, since we need all your support and cooperation to be able to take this Revolt against "Systemic ROT", which is axing the roots of Indian families and hence going to the decay of the Nation itself eventually, and hence laws prone to misuse.

Do let us know your impressions by reply email.


Warm Regards,

Gokul, http://gokul.go.to/, 9821414336(Mumbai)
Editor - http://www.siftimes.com/ , Director- http://www.pifngo.info/
Protect Indian Family: "For Family Harmony.. Against Legal Terrorism"

THE SENIOR CITIZENS(MAINTENANCE,PROTECTION&WELFARE) BILL, 2006: http://rajyasabha.nic.in/bills-ls-rs/2006/X_2006.PDF

Its very sad to realise that it needed a bill for enforcing the debt repayment (which cannot be repaid even in a lifetime by a child) we owe to our old parents. It pains to know that we have 'advanced' so much materialistically to come a conclusion that old people are not 'economically viable' in our scheme of things!. In our pursuits for higher posts, salaries, newer toys, bigger houses and villas, our hearts become smaller and smaller to the extend that our own parents cannot be accommodated in it anymore.

Anyway its good that government has realised this unfortunate trend of desertion and indifference towards old parents/grand parents. And the bill sounds very good in its intentions, it remains to be seen how the implementation is done and what are the actual guidelines laid out in the final Law after the Bill is passed. Questions like what’s the time frame in which relief is made available and whether the process of redressal is straight and clean, crop up in mind having seen lots of shoddily drafted laws which disadvantage our seniors, like IPC 498a, Domestic violence etc(please go through some of the instances we came across in field, below).

In Domestic Violence laws its said that the complainant should be given right to residence, some misuse of DV act can lead to loss on part of parents who may lose their residence to the law-misusing daughter in law. In many of the cases we have come across in our group, we have known for a fact that the elderly parents are the worst affected along with kids, when a law like IPC 498a or DV act is misused, where elders often will have wash their hands off from a life time's savings- just on the basis of a false complaint by the wives side.

Similarly talking about implementation of DV act requires 'Protection officers' and 'Service Providers'(NGOs or groups who are already in social services or related services are supposed to apply for being service providers), these two requirements of the DV law is not yet fully chartered out and hence in many places DV act is actually a white elephant, this bill for seniors too can go that way since there is a requirement that there should be tribunals in every district- I wonder how fast or whether this can be achieved in practice.

Having said about the lack of concern by youngsters towards their parents in the name of economic success and pursuits, I also would like to caution that there is a possibility of misuse of this law too, since revocation of will and jail sentences too are possible from offences under this law. This is more so since anyone can complain (on the behalf of senior citizens), about the so-called neglect and desertion of parents by children and such complaints could be false with some oblique motive, just using the vulnerability of parents who are totally dependant on someone else while their children are pursuing their careers and interests elsewhere (but supporting and maintaining their parents all the while). Therefore proper investigation of the case facts and evidences has to take place before any action against the accused are undertaken (the offence should not be cognisable or non-bailable, lest this fire power is misused for wrecking vengeance by someone who tricks the old people into filing false cases against their kids, or in any other scenario where these provisions of law is misused for some reason or the other). In some cases indifferent parents would have been instrumental in bringing-up indifferent children, in which case penalising only the children is kind of biased and unfortunate (who cared when that child was getting mistreated or uncared for?).

You can find some counter arguments in the above lines here:
http://www.suchetadalal.com/articles/display/46/2289.article . Where the author concludes by mentioning " The growth of individualism, the fraying bonds of kinship and blood, decay of the joint and extended family are not moral failings, but are the inseparable companions of economic success. The neglected and abandoned elderly are only the generational counterpart of children hurt, mistreated, abused or exploited by sometimes desperate parents. If the government wishes to enforce its desire that all dependant people should be tended and cherished, it will have to come up with some more imaginative way of dealing with the injuries to which its own enthusiastic polices have made such a significant contribution. "

What we need as a permanent guideline is to imbibe good values, not legalising inter-personal relationships or delivering force-fitted piece-meal solutions, where love is the only thing lacking!.
Adding some points vis a vis an FAQ:

Q -> Discuss the so-called domestic laws and their good points, flaws or even ambiguity or absence – dowry, inheritance, domestic violence, senior citizens etc.

Ans -> The good thing about Domestic laws is that they address the point when a woman is oppressed, the bad point is also that they address only the scenario in which a woman is oppressed, not the scenarios in which Men are oppressed.

The recent Protection of Women against Domestic Violence law even necessitates that the complainant needs to be a women and the accused (respondent) needs to be a Man, thus excluding other scenarios of domestic violence from this laws ambit. What happens to the senior citizens who are oppressed by women, men harassed my women?.

Though our dowry laws has a provision for punishment of Dowry Givers, how many instances of dowry giving has been punished?!. Surprised?. In how many instances have girls married (for whatever reasons it may be) lesser-established boys without paying dowry?(by not buying the boy)

Its the same parents who lament after marrying off a daughter to someone, somehow, by paying of dowry, while totally avoiding the issue of equal inheritance by both son and daughter. Which if done and enforced, will end the social menace called dowry.

I would like to introduce our NGO, "Protect Indian Family Foundation", and its Vision and activities to you.

We are a part of the 'Save Indian Family Foundation'(SIFF) which is a movement incorporating various International and National and International NGOs, local self-help groups , Individuals and Indian Families, spread across the world. Currently we are over 10,000 individuals in strength, having around 10 NGOs as our 'active' associates, with at least 3000 families in constant touch with us through our personal meetings, helpline, emails and local and main yahoogroups.

Our members are spread all over the globe, be it USA, UK, Africa, Gulf, Australasian, the Americas or Far east countries, and we coordinate out activities and discuss our thoughts primarily through Internet, with the local groups and NGOs executing suitably chosen plans for the respective locality/state in discussion and coordination with other groups or NGOs.
Though SIFF came into formal existence in 2005 as a yahoogroup of individual members and NGOs, the movement can be traced back to 2003 when a group of individual members coordinated themselves and helped each other with information and other relevant issues, through internet discussion boards, emails and some other yahoo groups. At present SIFF is a registered entity, similarly to the member NGO- PIFF which is registered with the Ministry of Company Affairs.

Our primary aim is to facilitate a better family system for the progress of a family and hence positive progress of India.

Currently there is widespread insecurities and disputes including legal cases running through a vast majority of Indian families, owing to some Indian Laws concerning families which are Skewed, .not very well thought out and rationalised. Because of these skews or biases in our laws, more and more families are pushed into the ignominy of wastefully destructive litigations which runs into years and years of misery and lower productivity and peace of mind, hampering the peace and progress of our Indian families both in India as well as abroad. We aim to get these skewed laws, which result in broken and dysfunctional families, rationalised for better familial and national progress by and large, and hence facilitate a better family system wherever an Indian family may be across the globe.

Please find the following links for objectives of Save Indian Family(http://www.saveindianfamily.org/pages/SIFF_aims_objects.pdf ) and Protect Indian Family Foundation(http://protectindianfamily.org/index.php?module=articles&c=articles&b=2&a=1 and http://protectindianfamily.org/index.php?module=articles&c=articles&b=1&a=3 ) which is a member-NGO of the SIF network.

Protect Indian Family Foundation(PIFF), Mumbai is an NGO Member of SIFF Network(the Umbrella movement in which many other national and International NGOs, Research organisations and Individuals/families across the globe are part of).

*********Some FAQs about our Movement- SIF ***********

1) Q -> First, like I already requested, our readers would wish to know more about this unique agenda called Save Indian family Network and all your campaign as part of it.

A-> There is an increasing trend of destructive influences vis-à-vis the Indian Family, one of the most obvious and avoidable being the bias in the legal system, which leads to destruction of many a Indian family. Instead of promotion Domestic Harmony these laws are unbalanced and seemingly plays to the politics of vote bank. For instance IPC 498a which is the law against cruelty against women (wives) is widely misused and is the cause of legal terrorism at the hands of unscrupulously opportunistic women, against her husband and relatives(including a mother and sister, on a average). Laws like this is so harsh in its powers that it could be manipulated to trap innocent victims even without any investigation by the police, just on the words of a law-misusing, extortionist wife. The original intent of these laws(including the new Domestic Violence Law) were to prevent offences against women, which is undisputed. We are only working towards amending these laws so that the scope of misuse is reduced, as well as to spread awareness and establish provisions to prevent offences against Men and his family members which is a growing trend as evidenced by worldwide activism by Men's Right Groups(http://at498a.blogspot.com/2007/04/radars-lobbying-against-international.html ).

2) Q-> Is there anything disconcerting about the trends with the society that spell concern/doom for the Indian family? If yes, what are the trends?.

A-> The trend of Materialism over and above familial progress, and the various offshoots of this trend. Especially the eagerness to get ahead of others even at the cost of one's own family and its progress.

3) Q-> Which are the most exaggerated and the most undermined roles in a traditional Indian family? (here you can make light of the more-often-than-not weak case of the man or supposed head of family)

A-> Roles are sometimes exaggerated but sometimes undermined, but there is an increasing trend of painting the role of men as oppressors, and women as victims- as if it is a universal constant!. If this was left at it, there would not have been much cause of worry, but laws are built on this premise, harshly against men, which are waiting to be misused at the hands of unscrupulous women- this is the case of worry.

4) Q-> How are the sets of family, society, community and nation connected and how can they be made mutually beneficial?

A-> Family is the basic block of a society and hence a nation. For a Nation to be progressing, the family first needs to be on that path. For a family to progress, there need be nurturing of members not oppression of any. When there the launch pad is firm, there is no limit to which one can reach.

5) Q-> Discuss the so-called domestic laws and their good points, flaws or even ambiguity or absence – dowry, inheritance, domestic violence, senior citizens etc.

A-> The good thing about Domestic laws is that they address the point when a woman is oppressed, the bad point is also that they address only the scenario in which a woman is oppressed, not the scenarios in which Men are oppressed. The recent Protection of Women against Domestic Violence law even necessitates that the complainant needs to be a women and the accused(respondent) needs to be a Man, thus excluding other scenarios of domestic violence from this laws ambit. What happens to the senior citizens who are oppressed by women, men harassed my women?. Though our dowry laws has a provision for punishment of Dowry Givers, how many instances of dowry giving has been punished?!. Surprised?. In how many instances have girls married (for whatever reasons it may be) lesser-established boys without paying dowry?(by not buying the boy)

6) Q->Any other fact relevant to the context of the Indian family and that needs to be crusaded against… Crusade for…..

A->Crusade for….. educating young men and women about what a marriage entails, what partners need to contribute, what values to imbibe, need for perseverance before thoughts of luxury.
Explicitly: Establishing framework and laws that promote family as the building block for progress.
Crusade against…. The trend of need for instant gratification, in process intolerance to efforts and results.
Explicitly: Opposing laws and lobbies, which lead to moral decay and oppression towards selective sections of our society.

*************** End of FAQ****************

Also check out this http://www.angelfire.com/pe/terzohrab/dowrylaw.html : Indian Dowry Law (498a) : Myth vs. Reality - An investigative Report
© 2005-2007 Asha-Kiran. All rights reserved.
(None of the material can be reproduced, displayed, modified or distributed without the permission of the copyright holder. For permission, contact: help.ashakiran@gmail.com .)

Also see another ink which will help you understand why even Supreme court finds the misuse of laws like 498a, horrendous: http://www.saveindianfamily.org/blogs/2005/07/22/sc-legal-terrorism/

See some observations on the new Domestic Violence law which also could be misused to gargantuan proportions: http://www.saveindianfamily.org/blogs/2006/11/13/sif-opposes-dvlaw .

I may be the fool here, but let me risk the possibility of being termed just that

Why this Dual Standards? -Why dont we write the laws entirely pandering to women's desires instead. Re:Married woman can live with her lover, says court

Ref:Article in Hindustan Times, dtd.April 19, 2007 -> http://www.hindustantimes.com/StoryPage/StoryPage.aspx?id=9e0b7ae6-86f2-4cb8-812e-a71677b4d729&

Married woman can live with her lover, says court
by KS Tomar, Email Author , Jaipur,

Subject: But really..........Can a married woman lawfully live with her lover against the will of her husband?
(do comment on this subject at http://www.saveindianfamily.org/articles/2007/04/i-may-be-fool-here-but-let-me-risk.html )

Hello Everyone,

I may be the fool here, but let me risk the possibility of being termed just that, and yet ask everyone- whether a woman can live with her lover(especially without the consent of her husband!, howmuchever unlikely the possibility of situations to the contrary could be!), while her legal marriage with her husband still exists(will she be legally correct in doing so?. At least isn't a crime of Adultery for her lover?): http://www.vakilno1.com/bareacts/IndianPenalCode/S497.htm , excerpt of this is quoted at the bottom of this mail for ready reference).


Its a simple question, which I consciously made so short so that we can start the discussion based on the popular verdict on this.

The secondary question related to whether a married woman can live with her lover, while her legal husband is alive and non-consenting to this scenario, is that, whether a Judge of an Indian court right, in pronouncing that there is nothing wrong (did the learned judge mean that nothing is wrong 'morally'!, is his role to be a love-guru or a culture-vulture or even a purveyor of morality, or , as expected of him, the upholder of justice or at least, in the bargain, the upholder of WRITTEN LAW prevailing in Present India!).

Some observations on the news(this is uploaded at http://www.protectindianfamily.org/?module=filesdb&id=7&fid=3&get=1 for reference)

The judge may be logically or even morally correct in taking this stance in the above scenario, since the girl, in this case, seem to be not all interested(even before marriage she had this 'thing' going!) in her 'legally-married-to-husband". Moreover her lover seems to be ready to face a possible 'Adultery' case! against him, which is what the IPC 497-Adultery
reads out, but only that the judge is not at all ready to take action against him on grounds of adultery, which is the justifiable behaviour expected out of an Honourable Judge(I am assuming that the detailed judgement really doesn't talk about an action under section 497 ie. Adultery law, already been pressed on the lover)

Why this double standards by the Judiciary!- when a girl does obviously wrongful acts according to the WRITTEN LAW of a country, she gets away with favourable interpretations, hearings and readings of the law. This is ensure even if it requires our Judges to do this by bending over backwards or even winding themselves into unjustifiable coils of Judicial wisdom and interpretations, and "woolly woolly words" for judgements, with a willing 180 degree spin-doctoring by the Judiciary , only when the party concerned is a woman(along with her paramour, intact, at her heels). I am not at all justifying the girl's husband, I am just focusing on the courts lenience towards her, which is just the summary of many a case in India, a blatant Gender-Skew!.

Meanwhile when men live by the law, they are treated Guilty until proven innocent(by his own effort, ie. burden of proof solely on himself), yes I am referring to the misuse of gender-biased-skewed laws like IPC 498a and Domestic Violence Act , etc.. If in the legal interpretation of our judges men always have a propensity to do 'bad', and thats why they need to give some 'headstart' to women by ruling in favour of them!, why don't they change the 'WRITTEN LAW ' , so that at least men do not have the ignominy of living with a
non-enforceable Indian Penal Code with respect to men, by and large!.

So the Questions once again are:

1. Whether a married woman can live with her lover, while her legal husband is alive and non-consenting to this scenario(this has reference to the validity of the Adultery law ie IPC 497, as it stands now!)- will she be legally correct in doing so

2. With respect to the above scenario, whether a Judge of an Indian court right in pronouncing that there is nothing wrong on the part of the lady or her lover.- Is the Judge legally correct in doing so

Reference: Indian Penal Code, Section 497. Adultery

Whoever has sexual intercourse with a person who is and whom he knows
or has reason to believe to be the wife of another man, without the consent or connivance of that man, such sexual intercourse not amounting to the offence of
rape, is guilty of the offence of adultery, and shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to five years, or with fine, or with both. In such case the wife shall be punishable as an abettor.(->Interpretation, the Girl is not an
offender of any law in this case, not even a co-accused!)

----------------------------------------------------
On 4/19/07, ramdama dam wrote:
http://www.hindustantimes.com/StoryPage/StoryPage.aspx?id=9e0b7ae6-86f2-4cb8-812e-a71677b4d729&Can a married woman lawfully live with her lover against the will of her husband? The Rajasthan High Court says yes. In a judgment on Wednesday, the court allowed a married woman, Manju, to live with her lover, Suresh. "It is improper to pass an order to hand over any unwilling married woman to her husband with whom she does not want to stay," said justices GS Mishra and KC Sharma. The court also said that nobody should consider an adult woman as a consumer product. While dismissing a habeas corpus petition filed by Manju's husband, the court came down hard on the misuse of habeas corpus petitions by people who want to thrust their will upon adult women without their consent. The court said the husband was free to approach the family court for divorce. Commenting on the judgment, senior Supreme Court advocate and noted women's rights activist Indira Jaising said, "Though it sounds strange, I am in complete agreement with the high court." "At the end of the day an adult woman has a right to decide whom she wants to live with. She can't be forced to go with her husband against her will," Jaising said. In this case, Jaising said, it is clear that the woman was prepared for divorce. She also felt that Manju's husband had abused the habeas corpus petition because such petitions were generally filed when somebody is actually missing. Asked whether it amounted to adultery, Jaising clarified that the woman could not be prosecuted for this offence under the law. As for the other man, she said, "it seems he is ready to face that". National Commission for Women Chairperson Girija Vyas said that although it seemed like an important judgment, she could not comment on it since she had not seen it yet. Manoj Chaudhry, the counsel for Manju and Suresh, had earlier rejected as baseless the allegations that Manju had been kept in illegal confinement by Suresh. He said that the duo had been living together by their free will and that the relationship had begun even before Manju had got married. With inputs from Satya Prakash and Sutirtho Patranobis.

. All India Helpline Number: 91-92434 73794 (24 Hours)Alternate Nos : 91-9810611534 or 080-65334135 Volunteer Helpline Numbers (limited contact hours)--------------------------------------------------------------- Delhi: Ashish : 9911119113, Swarup : 9810611534 Rajiv :9891369616 Bangalore: 80-65334135 Kolkata : 033-25347398/25217318 Mumbai: 9224335577 / 9869323538 Ahmadabad:9825365816

RADAR's lobbying against International Violence Against Women Act

Email from RADAR.........

All –

We have now finalized our letter to Senators Biden and Lugar – see below and attached to this message -- and our letter now has 37 co-signers from 10 countries – what an accomplishment! Thanks to all!

This is our game plan: Republican Senator Lugar is still on the fence. If we can persuade him to not support I-VAWA, the chances are very good we can stop this dangerous bill.

This coming week, we want to ask you and the members of your group to contact Senator Lugar. So today, please advise your members that the BIG PUSH will be this coming week. We want to ask your members to e-mail, telephone, and/or send a fax to Senator Lugar.

Here’s his contact information:
E-mail: senator_lugar@lugar.senate.gov
Phone: +1-202-224-4814 FAX: +1-202-228-0360

The message should be simple, polite, and short – something like:

“Senator Lugar, please do not support the International Violence Against Women Act. I-VAWA would be harmful to families, children, women, and men.”
Remember that we succeeded last fall at the United Nations. We can do it again.

Cheers,
Ed

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Open Letter to Senators Joseph Biden and Richard Lugar
Regarding the International Violence Against Women Act

April 13, 2007

Dear Senators Biden and Lugar:

Domestic violence is an important social problem. Around the world, research conclusively shows that women are at least as likely as men to engage in partner abuse.[1]

In recent years, several countries have passed laws designed to stop partner abuse. One of the major reasons these laws have failed to stop domestic violence is because they have not provided needed services to female abusers.

In addition, these laws have resulted in widespread civil rights violations of persons falsely accused of abuse. These are some examples:

· In Australia the federal government has run advertising campaigns that falsely portray only men as perpetrators. Refuge (shelter) services are provided exclusively for women. Anger management services are available for men, yet there are none for violent women. One Auditor General report found that only 9% of restraining orders that are granted based solely on the assertions of the “victim” are found to be legitimate and continued when the alleged perpetrator is able to give their side of the story.[2] In Tasmania , the Family Violence Act of 2004 defines both economic and emotional abuse as criminal offenses.
· In Canada, the domestic violence laws are systemically applied on a gender discriminatory basis, as a result of federal and local legislation, regulation, and enforcement policies. "This is contrary not only to Section 15 of the Canada's Charter of Rights and Freedoms but to international conventions such as Article 7 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and Articles 2 and 26 of the International Convention on Civil and Political Rights."
· In Germany, the Force Law (“Gewaltschutzgesetz”) allows alleged aggressors to be expelled from their residence for up to 14 days while ignoring the presumption of innocence. Michael Bock, professor of criminology at the University of Mainz, commented that the Gewaltschutzgesetz “gives an effective tool to the hands of mothers who want to separate children from their fathers. ... It is not meant to start a constructive dialog between the parties, but to expropriate, disempower, lock out, and punish men.”
· India enacted its Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act in 2005, which defines domestic “violence” broadly to include any form of physical, emotional, or economic abuse. False allegations of abuse have now become common, resulting in many husbands taking their own lives.[3] The Cruelty Against Women Law “Section 498a” has been widely abused leading to arrests of innocent elders and women. The Indian Supreme Court has termed this as “legal terrorism.”[4]
· In Mexico, the domestic violence law came into effect in February of this year. Under the law, men found guilty of being jealous or even sexual indifferent to their wives could face up to five years in prison.[5]
· New Zealand passed its Domestic Violence Act in 1996. As a result, according to Casandra Hewitt-Reid, “it is possible for a perfectly innocent man, who has done nothing outside the law, to be sent to prison on one person’s unsubstantiated word.”[6] Recently, two top researchers accused the New Zealand Families Commission of “ideologically driven” bias in its portrayal of domestic violence.[7]
· Spain passed its Integral Law on Gender Violence in 2004. Recently the Dean Judge of Barcelona Maria Sanahuja criticized the Law, saying it has brought about the “massive detention of men for scarcely any reason” which she condemns as “a repugnant violation of fundamental rights.”[8] Following implementation of the law, the number of intimate partner homicides of both men and women increased.[9]

It has come to our attention that consideration is being given to an “International Violence Against Women Act.” This bill is based on a flawed World Health Organization survey that neglected to survey men and therefore failed to reveal the extent of female violence. Based on descriptions of I-VAWA, [10] we believe that passage of this bill would not only fail to stop partner abuse, it would also inflict serious and lasting harm to families and children around the world.

We, the undersigned organizations throughout the world, strongly urge you to speak against the International Violence Against Women Act.

Signed,

Australia:
Tony Miller
Dads in Distress, Inc.

James Adams
Fathers-4-Equality-Australia

Brett KessnerMen’s Confraternity

Sue Price
Men’s Rights Agency

Edward Dabrowski
Shared Parenting Council of Australia

Canada:
Georges Dupuy
Coalition pour la Défense des Droits des Hommes du Québec

Earl Silverman
Family of Men

Kris Titus
Fathers-4-Justice Canada

Daniel Laforest
Fathers-4-Justice Québec

Brian Jenkins
Fathers Are Capable Too: Parenting Association

Lise Bilodeau
L’Action des Nouvelles Conjointes du Québec

Jean-Claude Boucher
L'après-Rupture, Inc.

Brian Johnson
Regina Shared Parenting Network

John F. Smith
World Father’s Union

Czech Republic:
Eduard Bakalar
Consultancy for Divorcing Parents with Children

Jiri Vodicka
PVVP - Real Equality

Jiri Solc
Cesky Svaz Muzu

Lubos Patera
Spravedlnost Detem

Germany:
Dietmar Albers
DAS Familienrecht

Dr. Eugen Maus
MANNdat e.V.

India:
B.S. Saraswathi
Asha Kiran

P.R.Gokul Protect Indian Family Foundation

Uma Challa
Save Indian Family Foundation

Ireland:
Mary T. Cleary
AMEN – Abused Men

Nora Bennis
Mothers At Home

Roger Eldridge National Men’s Council of Ireland

Netherlands:
Ad Verdiesen
DivorcedDads/Family4 Justice-Netherlands

Th. M. Nieuwenhuizen Netherlands Foundation for Parents without Access

New Zealand:
Jim Bailey
Hands on Equal Parents

John Potter
Masculinist Evolution New Zealand

Spain:
Antonio Luengo
Asociacion para el Estudio del Maltrato y el Abuso

Antonio Javier Morcillo y Martínez
Grupo de Estudios - Padres e Hijos

United Kingdom:
Erin Pizzey
International Founder of Refuges (Shelters) for Victims of Domestic Violence

John Bannon
Familieslink

Artur J. N. Oborski
Families Against Rough Treatment

David Hughes
ManKind Initiative

Anne Harris
St. Neots Abuse Project (SNAP)







[1] www.mediaradar.org/international_dating_violence_study_results.php
[2] www.audit.wa.gov.au/reports/report2002_05.html
[3] http://suicidenoteofhusband.blogspot.com/
[4] www.498a.org/contents/judgements/SupremeCourtJudgement_LegalTerrorism.pdf
[5] http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=54439
[6] http://nzmera.orcon.net.nz/femfasci.html .
[7] http://subs.nzherald.co.nz/section/1/story.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10410452
[8] www.mediaradar.org/barcelonaJudgeCriticizesGenderViolenceLaw.php
[9] http://www.mir.es/MIR/Publicaciones/catalogo/anuarios/anuarios05/anuario2005.pdf
[10] www.endabuse.org/programs/printable/display.php3?NewsFlashID=771